Jane was beside herself as she organized the stack of rejection letters in alphabetical order. It made no sense. She called Brian.
“This is crazy!” she exclaimed to him.
“I thought you were messing with me when you first told me,” Brian said. “That sucks. I don’t know what to tell you. I’ll keep an eye out for the students who did get in.”
A few weeks later, Brian updated Jane over the phone. “The admitted students just visited. You know, the ones who were awarded the scholarship. They took five people this year, compared to just me last cycle. Anyway, I got a chance to meet them. And it’s the funniest thing. They all have a higher rank than me, than you, but I challenged them to an informal match later in the day. And they couldn’t play for shit. I beat them all. If they had gone up against you, it wouldn’t be close. You’d wipe the floor with them without even trying. So, how did they get in?”
The bad news accumulated. Becca notified Jane that a random guy at their high school had received an esports scholarship at a top school. Up until that moment, Jane had no idea who he was.
Jane approached him at lunchtime, congratulated him. Then she invited him for a quick practice session after school. She wanted to see him display his gaming prowess. He gaped at her, like a deer caught in the headlights, then mumbled that he didn’t have time and hurried off. Weird.
Becca walked up to Jane. “You asked him to show you his gameplay and he said no, right?”
“Yes, exactly,” Jane said. “Reminds me of what Brian said, about the kids admitted at his school. They got esports scholarships, but they don’t seem to be esports athletes. Something’s not right.”
Becca smirked, flicked her hair. “You know where he came from, right? Why we haven’t seen him much?”
“Why?” Jane asked.
“He tries to hide it, but you can get a good enough sense from his social media that he’s filthy rich. He lives in High Falls. He was going to a public school there, which, because it’s in High Falls, is as good as a private school.”
Janes eyes widened. “Are you serious? What’s he doing here, then?”
Becca leaned in, lowered her voice conspiratorially. “He’s a carpetbagger.”
“What’s that?”
White flight from High Falls to South End. Not because minorities were dragging the schools’ standards down, but for the opposite reason: the children of Asian tech workers were throwing off the curve, making it harder for white students to stand out. In the face of ferocious competition, getting straight Bs relegated a student to the bottom quartile of the class. Hence, the curious exodus to South End right before a student began high school.
“He’s definitely not the only one,” Becca said. “There are a bunch of others here, too. It’s the new strategy. You know the college rankings? One thing they look at is how many incoming students were in the top ten percent of their high school class. It’s hard to do that in High Falls, so a bunch of families are having their kids go to high school in South End instead.”
Jane cupped her hand over her mouth. “That’s crazy,” she whispered. “But how did he enroll here? Doesn’t he have to live here, instead of there?”
Becca shrugged. “I dunno. His folks found a way to get him in here so they could get him into a top college. And that’s exactly what happened.”
A transplant from High Falls who took my esports scholarship but can’t actually play esports. Jane shook her head. At home, she went online, checked esports forums, noticed others complaining about the same thing. It was rampant across the country.
The next time Jane visited Brian at the west coast college that deprived her of her rightful admission, she found him sitting on the floor of his dorm room, morose.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Have you been following the news?” Brian asked. “It just came out.”
“No,” she replied. “What happened?”
“All the admitted students at my college except one had their scholarships revoked, along with their admissions. They were kicked out.”
“What?!” Jane exclaimed. “Why?”
Brian sighed. “A bunch of super-rich parents saw esports as an easy way to get their kids into top colleges. So they paid tons of money to actual esports athletes to log into their kids’ accounts and play to get their rankings up. In some cases, they also bribed esports coaches to designate them as esports athletes once they submitted their admissions applications. Our coach was fired yesterday. Same for dozens of others around the country.”
“Oh my God,” Jane said. “It’s all making sense now. They were scamming their way in.”
“Yeah. You can’t fake looking like a football or basketball athlete. Too much attention, and it’s obvious if you don’t have talent. Not that long ago, a bunch of parents tried to make their kids look like athletes in smaller, niche sports like water polo. They got busted, and now the newest wave of status-obsessed parents have gotten in trouble with this.”
“I don’t get it,” Jane said. “Why would they take that risk, especially if other parents already got caught?”
Brian shrugged. “I guess they thought esports was still too small to matter much, which was a dumb way to think. The gaming community exposed it by noting how all these kids had low rankings, and then mysteriously shot up in the months before they applied to college.”
Jane struggled to process everything she was hearing. “It’s funny,” she said. “Becca told me about parents in High Falls going to a specific psychiatrist to get their kids diagnosed with ADHD or whatever, so they could get extended or even unlimited time on standardized exams.”
The news had broken when the psychiatrist was investigated for charging thousands of dollars to “diagnose” each child. The diagnosis allowed parents to use “504 plans” to mandate academic accommodations for their children.
“Parents would try to get the diagnosis done when their kids were in middle school,” Jane murmured, “so it would look less suspicious when standardized exam time came around years later. I guess they couldn’t pull that off here, since esports are still so new.”
Jane halted her train of thought. Felt disgusted with herself. Why am I thinking like them? Like those cheaters and scammers? Another issue was bubbling to the surface, the elephant in the room. Jane had gotten Brian into college the same way, by playing for him on his account. She was complicit. She thought about how badly she had wanted to help him, the boundaries she was willing to cross.
“You know, Brian,” Jane said. “What I’ve been doing for you, it’s basically the same thing. Maybe it’s not such a good idea anymore.”
Brian scratched his scalp. “Doesn’t matter, anyway,” he said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
The glum look on Brian’s face hadn’t budged. “They told us that all rank-eligible matches must be played at the esports center on campus. A camera will follow our hand movements, while our gameplay will be recorded on a separate feed. They’ll do regular audits to make sure we’re the ones who are playing, not someone else logging in for us through VPN.”
“Oh,” Jane said. “But don’t you have just one more semester to keep your rank above the baseline? It doesn’t matter after that.”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “And I’m on track to not go underwater. So, I’ll still be able to keep the scholarship. It’s just . . . “ He sighed. “It’s painful to see my rank go down. It’s almost like I’m worth less as a person.”
Jane stared at him. This was not the Brian she had fallen in love with. She could feel it in the room, a blanket of negativity emanating from him and draping over her. The same emotion she had detected among his former football teammates after she had obliterated them in Death Match. The resentment, the insecurity. Brian had been coasting on her efforts this whole time, and now that he was barred from doing so, he felt sorry for himself. For losing something that was never truly his in the first place. She hated him. She hated that she still had feelings for him.
“That’s a very selfish thing to say,” Jane said. “You’re a selfish and ungrateful piece of shit.”
“Yeah, I agree. I am,” Brian said, infuriating her further. She wanted an argument, and he was depriving her of even that.
“You don’t deserve me,” Jane said. “You’re a loser.”
Brian said nothing, kept his head lowered. Jane’s anger diminished, giving way to another impulse coursed through her. Longing. Since she had arrived, he had barely kissed her. They had not been passionate in so long. His lack of response to her provocations made it seem as if he were slipping away. They were in the same room, but it was as if they were on opposite sides of the country.
She came up to him, leaned in until her hair brushed his face, began to caress him below the belt. Startled, he tried to push her hand away. “I’m not in the mood for that right now,” he said.
His reluctance fueled her longing until it bordered on desperation. She felt as if she lost him now, she would never get him back. She redoubled her efforts. Felt the change as his timidity gave way to tumescence. He was breathing harder now, no longer trying to fend her off, his resistance evaporating. The realization that she was succeeding in her seduction filled her with a lust that blotted out all else. His pants were off. She leaned down, while his hands stroked her hair.
And then she stopped. Lifted her head until she was eye level with him.
“Why do you smell and taste like lotion down there?” she asked. He grimaced, confirming her suspicion. She was beginning to understand his initial reluctance. “Have you been jerking off to porn again?” Again, no response. He studied the floor, his eyes exuding embarrassment.
“Why?” Jane demanded. Months of suppressed frustration were finally gushing out. “Why am I not enough? Why don’t you want me?”
Brian raised his eyes to meet hers. “I love you,” he said.
“That’s not what I asked you,” Jane snapped. “Why don’t you want me? How come I’m always the one who has to make the first move every time? Every single time?” She paused, then asked the question she had always been too afraid to even remotely approach. “How come you never fuck me when you’re sober?”
“Can we not talk about this right now?” Brian asked, turning away.
Jane grabbed his shoulder, made him face her. “No, I’ve waited long enough,” she said. “Give me an answer.”
Brian sighed heavily. Jane was surprised to see his eyes moisten with tears. “It’s not you,” he said. “I mean, it’s not who you are as a person. I love you to death, even when we’re arguing, like right now.” He took a deep breath. “It’s how you sound.”
Jane blinked. This was the first time he had ever mentioned her voice.
“What about it?” she asked.
“The way you sound when we’re . . . you know, when we’re doing it. The sounds you make, they make it hard for me to stay turned on. Unless I’ve had a few drinks. I feel like shit for saying that, but it’s the truth.” Tears were running down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Jane. I really am.”
Jane was too stunned to cry. She sat down, said nothing. Her voice was repulsive to the guy she loved, the guy who loved her.
“I didn’t want to say it before,” Brian said. “It makes me seem like a superficial asshat, especially since you’ve stood by me during the most difficult part of my life. I used to beat myself up over it a lot, the fact that it’s hard to feel attracted to you, you know, in that way. Especially after everything you’ve done for me.”
Anger returned to Jane. “So, you’ve been leading me on this whole time because of what I’ve done for you. Not because you want me.”
“I love you,” Brian insisted.
“But you’re not attracted to me.”
Brian was silent.
Jane got up, started packing up her stuff. “I’m gonna go,” she said.
“Wait,” Brian said, wiping tears from his face. “Don’t go. Where are you going to stay tonight?”
“I’ll find a room share, and I’m flying out tomorrow anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Jane,” Brian pleaded. He stood up.
“I’m not angry at you, Brian,” Jane said. “I’m angry because I should have gotten to the bottom of this earlier so you wouldn’t waste my time.”
Brian put his hand on her shoulder, but she slapped it away. “Don’t touch me!” she shrieked.
Brian obediently moved away, sat on the side of his bed. “You can’t make me feel worse than I’ve already made myself feel,” he said.
It’s all about him, yet again. Jane needed to get out of there. She zipped her suitcase and headed out. “I can’t do this,” she said, then closed the door.
“Girl, don’t worry about it,” Becca said. “People go through drama all the time. All least your nudes haven’t been circulating all over the school. I still get shit over that.”
“I can’t believe it,” Jane said. “Now that I’m taking a break from him, I’m realizing how much he took advantage of me. I mean, maybe he didn’t start out wanting to. But when he did, I just let him.”
They were sitting on a bench after school, having a much needed debrief.
“Everything is clearer when you’re not in the relationship anymore,” Becca said. “But what’s this about taking a break? It’s over. Move on.”
“I can’t,” Jane said. “I still have feelings for him, even after everything he said. I texted him today that I miss him, and he said the same thing. Deep down, he’s a good person.”
“I used to think the same thing about my ex,” Becca retorted. “You’re not over him. You’re still dickmatized. See other people asap.”
“That would just make me feel worse,” Jane said. “Besides, I have bigger problems. My parents are getting on my case about my grades.”
“Why? You’re not playing for Brian anymore, just yourself.”
“Yeah, but my overall playing time has gone up instead of down. I feel like I’m hitting a groove, and I don’t know how long the run will last. My parents are threatening to shut down the internet. It’s really bad.”
“Yikes,” Becca said. “But aren’t you already really good? Why are you putting in so much time? It’s not like you need to. You’ll apply to college next cycle, get that esports scholarship now that they’ve purged all the cheaters, and you’ll be good to go.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not planning to go that route anymore.”
Becca frowned. “What do you mean? What other option is there?”
“Colleges still look at a bunch of things that don’t matter. I don’t need college. I’m aiming to go straight into a professional league.”
“Are you serious??” Becca exclaimed. “But you can’t do that unless you’re insanely good.”
“Others have done it, and not just in esports.”
“Yeah, but they were on another level. Do you really think you’re the next Kobe Bryant? The next LeBron James? Even Michael Jordan played for a college team before going pro.”
“I’m not sure who those people are, except Michael Jordan,” Jane said.
They both laughed.
“My ex was into sports,” Becca said, “so I got familiar with some of the big names. But anyway, where did you get this idea?”
Jane smiled coyly. “Someone reached out to me.”
“Who? An esports team?”
“I’ve gotten a few messages from teams. Nothing serious, just overviews of their rosters and other introductory fluff. I’m not at the level they’re looking for, but they say they’re keeping an eye on me.”
“Okay, that’s promising. But I’m sure they send messages like that to anyone who charts. And there are too many of them and too few team spots. Isn’t that what you told me?”
“True. But last week, all that changed,” Jane said. She lowered her voice, even though no one was around them. “I got a message from Chalice.”
Blank stare. “Who’s that?”
“She’s the Speedrun Queen,” Jane whispered excitedly.
“Speedrun?”
Jane took out her phone, searched for Speedrun Queen. Handed her phone to Becca, who started reading.
Every popular game with a single player mode has speedruns. Players attempt to beat a game as fast as possible, and they post videos of their feats for public consumption. Enter Chalice, who appeared out of nowhere and is now one of the most followed athletes in esports. Within the past year, she has beaten speedrun records for half a dozen of the biggest games out right now, a range that was previously unheard of.
But an additional factor has catapulted her to the forefront of esports.
In baseball, the single-season home run record was clinched by Ned Williamson in 1884. He hit 27 home runs that season, and the record remained unbroken for 35 years. In 1919, Babe Ruth hit 29 home runs, beating the record by two homers. But he was just getting started. The following year, in 1920, he hit 54 home runs. In 1921, 59 home runs. In 1922, 60 home runs. Within four years, he had beaten the existing home run record by more than double, which helped cement his status as arguably the greatest baseball player of all time. His record would remain unbroken for 34 years.
Let’s look at another example. In basketball, the single-season three-point record had been clinched in 2006 by Ray Allen, who made 269 three-pointers that season. In 2013, Stephen Curry beat the record by hitting 272 three-pointers that season. Two seasons later, he hit 286 three-pointers. The following season, he hit 402 (yes, you read that right) three-pointers, a feat that helped cement his status as the greatest shooter in basketball history. What elevated these players from elite to legend was not just the breaking of previous records, but the unthinkable margins by which they did so.
Chalice has beaten existing speed run records by similar margins, so much so that she was routinely accused of splicing together video segments or being tool assisted. At an annual speedrun event, which attracts hundreds of thousands of online viewers, she went through speedruns for each game using a special controller that she did not have previous access to. One camera focused on her hand movements while she was playing, confirming her as the gamer. In five of the games, she landed within fifteen percent of her record, erasing all doubt that she was the real deal. In the remaining game, she actually beat the record she had previously set. The new record in that game was nearly half of the time that had been set by the next best speedrunner. In an era where women are still grossly underrepresented in esports, the Speedrun Queen, as she is now routinely dubbed, is a sign of things to come.
Becca finished reading the article. “Wow, she sounds amazing,” she said.
“Now check this out,” Jane said. She reached over to her phone, which was still in Becca’s hand, and tapped the screen a few times. Becca gaped as she read a direct message.
“She messaged you?” Becca asked.
“Yeah,” Jane said. “Crazy, right?”
Becca read the message aloud. “You have great potential, and I have no doubt that if you stay on your current trajectory, you’ll join a professional league within a year.” She screamed.
Jane laughed. They both laughed. Becca hugged Jane tightly. “You’re going pro!” she squealed into Jane’s ear.
“Wait, not so fast,” Jane said. “I have a long way to go before I’m at that caliber. But this message hit me when I most needed it. Like it dropped out of heaven.”
“Remember all the little people like me once you’re there, Jane,” Becca said, then laughed and hugged her again, squeezing her as hard as a nearly empty tube of toothpaste.
Jane buried herself in gaming. She found solace in it as a distraction from the crummy real world. Plummeting grades. Letters home about truancy. Yelling from her parents. She tried to tolerate all that because she knew she was on a different track. The Speedrun Queen had promised her an amazing future, but only if she practiced like a maniac.
The only disruption that knocked her off balance was what showed up on social media after days of hard practice. Although she tried not to think about Brian, any post he made immediately showed up on her feed. Brian had posted a picture of himself with one of his classmates, a girl Jane had met during her visits. Her arm was around his shoulders, while his arms hung at his sides. Jane felt a twinge of envy as she took in the picture.
Jane’s eyes moved down to read the caption. One-year anniversary of our friendship!
The post could mean something, or nothing at all. The ambiguity tore at her. She struggled to sleep, knowing that it was futile, that her mind would pick at the post from all possible angles, trying to decipher its true meaning.
The next morning, Jane struggled to get out of bed. The lack of sleep made her groggy. At school, she stumbled through the hallways from one class to the next. Now that college applications were over, many of her classmates struggled with senioritis. Jane’s performance had also suffered, not because of a lack of effort, but from a diversion of her energies from academics to video games.
At lunch break, Jane found herself scanning faces until she settled on one that was decent looking enough. She tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey, I don’t think we’ve met,” she said. “What’s your name?”
Startled, he glanced over at his friends, then back at her. “Ummm, my name is Mark.”
“Could I take a selfie with you, Mark?”
Mark squinted in confusion. This his expression smoothed out and he smiled. “Sure!”
Jane got out her phone. “Put your arm around my shoulders,” she instructed. She positioned herself just right, tapped the screen, heard the snapshot. Perfect.
“Thanks!” she said, and walked off.
Mark immediately huddled with his friends. Jane heard them deliberating in hushed tones. Then she heard them high fiving each other. She smiled. They didn’t matter. Only the picture did.
Jane triumphantly posted the picture on her social media page, knowing it would appear in Brian’s feed. Two can play this game. Affirmations began pouring in. She didn’t care how many she got. What mattered was that Brian would see the post.
Suddenly, Brian’s name popped up. Jane’s heart sank. Brian had affirmed the post.
What an asshole.
Jane immediately went to Brian’s page, scrolled to the post with him and his one-year anniversary platonic female nothing-to-see-here-folks bimbo “friend,” and affirmed it.
Jane’s phone chimed, causing her heart to leap into her throat. Did Brian just message me? She steeled herself to look at the sender. Saw to her relief that it wasn’t Brian.
Instead, it was Mark, the boy she had taken the selfie with. She tapped the notification to open the message.
ur cute. love everythign bout u
She smiled. In the face of Brian’s unflappability, it was nice to receive a compliment. But the next message was not as heartwarming.
send cleavage pic
Seriously? She thought about telling him off, then decided against it. Graduation was not too far away. Better not to rock the boat.
She fired off a reply. lol were not ther yet
There. That would be enough to tide him over. She put the phone down and went to the bathroom. When she returned, she frowned. He had sent her another message, along with a picture.
ur such a tease lol i prefer more direct
Below the message was a dick pic.
After nauseating over the fact that she had allowed the perv to put his arm around her shoulders, Jane blocked him. Moved over to her post of the selfie with him, prepared to delete it. Paused. Decided to keep it there for the time being. Brian was her primary focus, and she still wanted to make him feel jealous. She no longer wanted him, but inexplicably, she had to know if he still wanted her.
Later that night, her phone buzzed. Raunchy texts followed by sexts, followed by demands for reciprocal sexts. Mark had somehow gotten ahold of her number.
please stop texting me, she texted.
The texts continued unabated. Jane thought back to what she saw on the slut page Brian had showed her. At the time, she had wondered why so many girls had appeared on there. Now, she understood. Intense, relentless pressure.
But she would turn the tables. It was time to assert herself, become Rain. She picked up her phone.
lemme visit u after school tmrw, she texted. wut’s ur address?
He replied within seconds. Such zeal.
The next day, Jane did not go to school. Instead, she stayed at home and played video games.
Mark texted Jane right after school ended. hey where r u
running late, she replied. when ur parents get home??
My mom gets home around 4, Mark texted. my dad much later…so yea get here well b4 4 cuz 8===> ;)
Jane returned the emoticon, then went back to gaming. At 3:30pm, she headed out the door. At 4pm, she arrived at the address but loitered a couple of houses away. It was not the most beautiful neighborhood, but it seemed safe enough.
Jane checked the time. 4:10pm.
A car pulled into Mark’s driveway. Jane glimpsed a head of hair on the driver’s side. That must be his mom. Gotta move.
She half-sprinted toward the driveway and arrived just as the woman was getting out.
“Hi,” she said. “Are you Mark’s mom?”
The woman looked startled. Jane was used to this reaction by people who heard her voice for the first time. The woman finally nodded.
Jane took out her phone, unlocked it, and handed it to the woman.
“Your son has been sending me messages that are making me very uncomfortable,” Jane said.
The woman scrolled through the conversation from the beginning, her eyes widening as she got near the bottom. She saw everything. The innuendos, the requests for sexts, the sending of them. Mark’s mother reached the bottom, handed Jane the phone, and marched to her front door. Fished her keys out of her pocket, got it open.
“Mark!” she barked. She went into the house, slamming the door shut behind her.
Jane thought about waiting in the driveway, then thought better of it. Her job was done. She headed home, satisfied that the texts from Mark would stop.
No texts from Mark that night, or the next morning. Jane felt relieved. It was over. She could focus on her gaming again.
Jane’s phone buzzed. Someone was calling her. An unknown number from her area code.
“Hello?” Jane said.
“This is Mark’s mother,” said the voice at the other end. “I had a long talk with him.”
Good, Jane thought. Jane felt bad about tattling on him, but she had explicitly asked him to stop harassing her several times.
“I thought you should know,” Jane said, “so that he doesn’t treat other girls the same way.”
“Excuse me?” Mark’s mother barked.
Something was off. Mark’s mother had the same tone of voice Jane had heard yesterday in the driveway. But the anger was now directed at Jane.
“I’m sorry,” Jane said. “Is everything okay?”
“Mark told me everything.”
Wait a minute. “What exactly did Mark tell you?” Jane asked.
“Everything you didn’t show me,” Mark’s mother replied. “About how you hid the texts you sent him, leading him on. The nude pictures you sent him, so he would do the same. About how he finally deleted everything from his phone in disgust.”
Jane’s stomach clenched. That lying fuckboy. “Your son is not being honest –”
“You’re a slut!” Mark’s mother raged. “He told me you’re the biggest slut in the school! Girls like you corrupt innocent boys like my son! Stay away from Mark and don’t ever come to my house again!”
Part 6: https://medium.com/@phenomgamer/game-on-part-6-74fa56840c86
