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Lights of misunderstandings

Pherawaty
lvsoulfairy
Published in
5 min readJun 14, 2022

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We often talk about misunderstandings. Situations that happen in various appearances. A variety that can lead to confusion on itself as well. The great question to shed a light on is whether there is a mention of confusing misunderstandings. Or whether understanding really is necessary in the applicable occasions. People tend to believe we need to understand each other. That our lives should be equal and should connect to each other’s expectations and life forms. We should live our lives according to the great standards we have in society, marriage, family, jobs and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. If we are part of a family or community, your decisions should also be in line with the decisions everyone else in that group has made. If you don’t, you’re considered an outcast who can’t rely on the support of your community, simply because it doesn’t fit with their expectations and lifestyle. It doesn’t matter how beautiful your intentions are, if it isn’t what they are, this can lead to unexpected issues between you and the people close to you.

Confusing decision

When it’s a matter of the decision of your heart, these issues can be very confusing, because you never expect that something that comes out of the good of you, will lead to so much turmoil. It isn’t something you expected and people giving you problems with something you intended with so much love can cause pain deep inside of you. Making a decision that is different from what you’re used to, is difficult in itself. So when you share this with the one you trust, their harsh misunderstanding responses can be the first sad encounter you experience in this journey.

Processing the responses

No doubt you’ve heard a couple or perhaps many unexpected responses you’re not happy about. Maybe even some who touched the broken pieces on your heart. This is the time to reflect on what has happened to you. You’ve made your decision, you feel you need to take it because it really is something you want to do and you feel this is the path that is destined for you. In the end the opinions of others shouldn’t matter. However they are important to you as they are told by the people you admire and love. You prefer to have them in your corner.

Taking chances

Regardless of the fact you’ve processed every reaction to your new lifestyle, you will continue with what you’ve planned. You will start your new job, a new study, a new lifestyle in being single or maybe moving in with someone, or just start a new career or life in a different part of the country or even the world. You will move on and follow what you’ve planned with your heart. With that, you’ll carry every message you received and these messages will strengthen you on your path. Maybe some will bring tears to your eyes, because they’ve hurt you or supported you. Nevertheless, you will continue to discover this new leap of faith you’re getting into.

Ongoing struggle

Remember that struggles are always part of the journey. Simply because it’s a new territory you’ve never been in before. That is why it can be a good idea to have some guidance next to you with whom you can reflect on this new path. This guide can be a good friend, a family member or a professional. The most important thing is that it’s someone who brings out the best in you, when you can’t find the best within yourself.

Choosing your battle

After a while you will evaluate what you’re doing, you decide whether this is where you want to be or what you need to get where you want to be in the end. You may do this frequently and decide if this is what you’ve expected from your choice. Or you take a moment and think about everything you’ve experienced along the way. Deciding whether your decision worked for you, is another battle you have to face. With yourself and with the people around you. It can even be that they ask you multiple times how your new life is going. If it’s like you expected, but everything is seldomly as you expected. In the end they want to know if you’re happy. That you’re feeling good despite the difficulties you face in your journey. However, some may wish you don’t succeed and you will come back to this life that is familiar to them and they’ll be disappointed if you don’t. Which will be another battle to face. When despite your own happiness, people can’t be happy for you.

New losses

This is the time of growth. To continue your journey. Getting to know the true hearts behind the familiar faces in your world. Being brave enough to make your own decisions. Letting people go who can’t support you in being you. All the tears, all the doubts and fears and even lonely moments are sadly enough part of getting through every new step you take. Through this journey you will notice people can’t keep up with you and you will lose some on the way. Not because you didn’t love them, but simply because you are going into another direction.

A new light in you

All the struggles, the pain, the hurtful disappointments will fade away when your eyes are opened for the new light in your life. Even though you are going through it on your own without anyone understanding you, you will feel a light of satisfaction when you are where you want to be. Maybe even a place you never imagined. It’s all about following your dreams. Following your inner voice, that’s only you. When you’ve reached this point and look back, you won’t recognize the person in your early days, but you have the right to feel proud. Even though this person was crying and bleeding on the way, you’ve managed to persevere despite everything. No matter how loud and mean everyone around is about the messages of your own heart, you will always be the one in control. In your heart you know where your light is supposed to shine, so make sure you’ll get there.

by pherawaty

more work by pherawaty: Vocal, Ko-Fi, Patreon, Verawaty

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Pherawaty
lvsoulfairy

As Pherawaty, real name Verawati Calmer, I write prose and poetry to embrace darkness and sadness with love and light. https://linktr.ee/pherawaty