Write what you know. Ideally, you know fish. If your novel is not about fish, you have already lost me.
It is I, master novelist Jules Verne, as you may have guessed from the captain’s hat upon my head bearing the embroidered text “Master Novelist Jules Verne.” If you’d like an autographed photo, please wait until after the seminar, and I will be happy to direct you to the gift shop, where they can be purchased for $49.99. Thank you for joining me aboard The Jules, my personal six-million-dollar submarine. As I share with you the wisdom and mastery gained over a lifetime of tremendous writerly success, please refrain from emitting gasps of shock and wonder, as our oxygen supply…
1. Hi :) Yes, definitely still available.
2. In pretty good shape, barely ever touched
3. Hey, just checking in because you said that you were really interested last week, but I haven’t heard from you. Did you change your mind? Happy to address any questions or concerns you might have!
4. Bed bug free
5. Are you willing to come to Jersey?
6. Showing signs of age, but still gets the job done
7. Awkwardly shaped and hard to handle, but a great conversation starter
8. Just checking in because we said 7pm and it’s now 8:15. Are you…
Phil Gillen
Phil is a Harvard grad, actor, writer, and comedian from Brooklyn. He hopes to one day play a character over the age of 18. Writing and comedy: philgillen.com.
