Knock, knock! Wake up little dream, everyone’s been waiting for you now. Get out from your brittle shell and breath in the warmest sunlight sneaking into your bedroom door.
Okay, okay. Maybe I’ll try harder this time.
September 1, 2022. Typing on my laptop at some beach city surrounded by unfamiliar people, unfamiliar scenes, and work. Nevertheless, I think I’ve done enough with letting my fear and procrastination be the best of me. Thank you to anyone who shares this writing challenge. I finally can write without being lonely or as aimless as a gun with no bullet.
The door is open. Mind your step, but be sure to keep going!
Day 1: A Queen in reverse
To be honest, I think this is the hardest question to start the journey. Who am I to describe myself? I might be full of bright humor one day, then jump into the pit of a depressed girl on that very night. When I was in elementary school, never utter a single word during class. Everyone’s envy of teacher praises given to me, I even got a “card” for my quietness in class. Hand folded on the desk, stare at the whiteboard with I don’t-freaking-care what teacher wrote and just…got lost in thoughts.
I remember one teacher who was beginning to be suspicious of my behavior and decided to give questions after the class ended, and those who couldn’t answer would not be able to go home. I was struck, dumbfounded at that time. Oh, now the whole world gonna know I am just a pretender. I graduated my elementary school with the best grade, but honestly, that doesn’t add anything to the life I have now. I’m just a person who always tries her hardest, and when I loosen my grip for just a moment, everything will collapse.
I don’t know who’s to blame, my born skin and face or my lack of social skills, but no matter how I try to be a new person in every chance, you know, change of school, the first day of college, new job, everything ended up the same. I guess I get it now, it's just how I've always been. Should I really need to change my personality? I said to myself I just need to find the right environment, but with the ten fingers that I have, only three would make the count of friends.
I think that’s enough for the open book session about me. I hate talking about myself, that’s why I rather write hundreds of words of rambling and nonsense tales to escape who I am. But hey, that doesn’t mean everything that I wrote so far is a lie. There is always a glimpse of belief in every title, every paragraph. When no one sneaks a glance at my sadness, when I’m no longer believe in myself, there is my writing to remind me that everything’s gonna be okay, and I’m doing just fine.
See you on Day 2.
