The Problem with Self-Improvement

Method and Method Abuse

Hi, my name is I’m Philip Dhingra, and I’m a recovering self-help addict. I’ve read hundreds of self-help books since I was 14, from authors like Tony Robbins, Dale Carnegie, and Steven Covey. When I was 30, I wrote a book about my obsession with self-help called Dear Hannah. I knew I had to write this book when my pitches got so much attention. I’d simply tell people I was writing “a cautionary tale about self-improvement,” and eyes would light up. Everybody feels there’s something wrong with self-help.

In self-help books, the one recurring theme is something I call “method and method abuse,” which is similar to method acting, wherein you tap into some thought or image to become a character. The best explanation is by example:

It’s the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and you step up to the plate. You’re nervous, and so you whisper to yourself, “You’re the man, Phil, you can do this. You’ve been practicing for this moment all your life.” You clench the bat tighter, everything quiets around you, and when the pitcher winds up, time slows down. Studies show you actually perform better in these moments, and so you put everything you’ve got into that swing, knocking the ball out of the park.

The question I’ve always had is, “Why can’t we do this all the time?” Why can’t you tell yourself, “You’re the man,” every time you step up to the plate? Perhaps you try to whisper to yourself the next time, and the words fall flat, actually…