I think the core problem might be to see a relationship as a vessel for any future dreams. Why should any man deliver some kind of bullet point checklist to be considered right. I think every person has something beautiful to give and thats not less or more then the balanced super successful mega man. If you think that however successful anybody is, how many boats they own or hundred children they have, they die in the end. They loose their physical beauty, they loose everything. At some point in life. So planning is then just delusional, because it will fall apart anyway at some point. So why not just enjoying all the gifts and lovely little things you fell in love with about these men instead of judging their so called shortcomings. And maybe real beauty and love can only happen in a climate of things being on the edge. Maybe its like music, upbeat songs with a shot of melancholy are so much nicer then plain upbeat songs.