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He sat in my office, hunched over with his arms resting on his knees.

“But I love her.”

As a Therapist, It was something I had heard before when someone is talking about a mistake they made followed by, “but I love her/him.”

“Are you good at it?” I asked him.

He didn’t know how to respond; he just stared blankly at me and asked, “What do you mean?”

I have heard this response in my office for over nine years ago, but it is part of the age-old question.

What is love?

The two most common answers people hear…

Justifying your actions doesn’t make you right, it only hurts others more.

Image Credit: Engin Akyurt

I deal with people justifying their actions on a daily level. As a therapist, it’s part of the job, and in essence, it’s part of being human. Everybody, (at least everybody that I have ever met) justifies their actions.

Sometimes a part of my job is pointing these justifications out.

“It sounds like you were feeling hurt and upset but that doesn’t make how you responded okay.”

This is something I can say or call out with those I have built a lot of trust with, and often times this isn’t our first time going down this road. …

Photo Credit: Lisa Fotios

This time of year like the carol says, can be the most wonderful time of the year. However, it can also be the most stressful time of the year, but I can see how that would not make for a good song.

Never the less, this time of year can be extremely stressful when it comes to family, and extended family gatherings. Throw in the wonders of politics and the dinner table can get pretty tense. …

and what you need to replace them with

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As a therapist, I find the long term psychological impacts of well-intended messages fascinating.

For as long as parents have been around, their well-intentioned messages have had a negative effect they never dreamed they would have.

Hindsight bias makes it easy to look at past messages and wonder how society encouraged such behavior.

Phrases like “boys don’t cry” were said to encourage men to build emotional resilience, but instead this contributed to men not being able to identify or express their emotions.

Women were told, “a woman’s place is in the home,” which was meant to be affirming to the…

The conversation he failed to have, and what people need to hear about consent

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Disclaimer: While I’m using the terms men and women, I acknowledge the fact that these perceptions and attitudes can belong to all genders and relationships.

Aziz has returned to the spotlight with his new Netflix special Right Now. He reemerges after a year and a half hiatus caused by a sexual misconduct allegation. It’s unclear if he used that time to evaluate and improve himself, or if he was waiting for things to blow over. His response — or lack thereof — in the first five minutes of his special screams the latter.

Aziz is a self-proclaimed feminist and author…

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My friend called me the other day because he loves to travel but has as he put it, “crippling flight anxiety,” and he wanted to know if I had any

“head shrinking tips to point him in the right direction.”

People reaching out to me about flight anxiety is not uncommon. I have worked with this kind of anxiety in my office, my cousin has reached out to me about it, and I deal with flight anxiety myself.

I wanted my friends and family to have something they could read when they needed a reminder or were not able to…

How self-deprecating humor is encouraging a culture of anxiety depression and self-harm

Image Credit: Helena Lopes

Millennials and Gen Z might be the most caring and compassionate generations we have ever seen. They are more accepting of the LGBTQ community and people of color than the generations before them. They stand up for women’s rights and equality, and they love dogs. Excuse me, Doggos.

Despite their capacity to care for others and rally against injustice, there is one group of people they assault with relentless passion; Themselves.

If you don’t know it by now, Millennials and Gen Z love self-deprecating humor and jokes about suicide, and they express these jokes in the most fitting way to…

Attachment Theory simplified

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If you’re unfamiliar with attachment theory, that’s okay a lot of people are. Attachment theory is a big pillar in the field of mental health, and it gives therapists an understanding of how people connect and respond to one another.

You form attachment from your early childhood years, and what happens during those years impacts how you connect with your significant others later in life.

Those are some pretty big stakes so early in the game. Around 60% of people have a secure attachment, that’s the one you want. 23% have an avoidant insecure attachment, and 15% have an anxious…

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy simplified

Image Credit: Pham Khoai

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT for short is considered the current gold standard for psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is a fancy/scary word for therapy. I don’t care for it because it plays into the troupe that therapy is for crazy or “psycho,” so let’s just call it therapy.

CBT is an evidence-based treatment that has gone through numerous randomized trials. The results show that CBT is helpful and effective in treating a wide range of mental health issues.

But what is it? I mean that’s why you’re here so I should probably get to that.

I’ll break it down here the same…

How the traditional family model impacts equality and families financial success.

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Some believe an ideal marriage is where the husband provides and the wife takes care of the kids and the home. They might believe this is the way marriage is designed to be, and that it is the way it has always been; except it’s not, and it has never been.

The “traditional family” is based on the male breadwinner model. If you’re not familiar with it, well that’s kind of weird but I’ll explain anyway. The male breadwinner model is when the husband works and provides financially for his family.

In this model the wife stays at home, making…

Phillip Morina

Marriage and Family Therapist | Owner of | Passionate about relationships & Mental Health | He/Him

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