Fortune 500 Companies to Repatriate their Ethics

In a rare moment of working-togetherness, Fortune 500 companies issued a joint press release today announcing that they will be repatriating their ethics. “We outsourced our ethics for several decades because we’re all sleazeballs and were hoping that nobody would notice. Nobody did notice, but then a little boy reading the Emperor’s New Clothes blurted out — “The Fortune 500 companies are emperors and they aren’t wearing any ethics!” The boy went on to say, “And these companies are externalizing their costs, while grabbing all the profits. You don’t have to be a six-year-old to understand that. If I did what they do, I’d beaten up on the playground every day of the year. Why? Because it ain’t right. It makes a mockery of human dignity. It’s colonialism all over again, wearing a newer suit. If legislatures can’t figure out ways to close those loopholes, we’ve got to beat those legislators up at the polls — you know, those polls that have been gerrymandered by those other folks who make a mockery of human dignity. Kids — quit playing tag on the playground. There is organizing work to be done. The only thing you have to lose are your chains.”