Four Sisters and a Wedding

By Ylianah Sumabat

“Home is where you are loved the most and act the worse” — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

What Makes a Family?

A family is one of the basic institutions of society. It is a foundation built by blood-related individuals, however, it is not limited to this definition. You could describe anyone, from friends to partners, as “family,” since what matters is the relationship and trust you have built with each other. Creating an establishment where, both parties feel unconditionally loved and united, even during tough situations.

The Storyline

As the title states, Four Sisters and a Wedding follows four overprotective sisters trying to stop their brother from marrying the “wrong,” person. However, amid this chaos, the problems of each sibling reach the surface. Will they face this together, or will they continue to ignore the underlying troubles?

This film showcases how not every family is not perfect from the perspective of a Filipino household. There were misunderstandings, secrets kept, and feelings that needed to be shared. As a result, their bond was questioned, no matter how happy and close they looked on the outside.

Pridefulness

Through the film, one predominant element, I noticed, that caused obstacles, problems, and conflicts were their pride and egos. This pernicious trait stopped them from immediately admitting a fault and reconciling as soon as the problem arose. Naturally, Filipinos are full of pride, hence, it should be no surprise for us to see this portrayed in the film. Additionally, what comes with pride comes stubbornness, aiding further to a turbulent relationstioship

Teddie, the eldest sister, does not want to reveal her real job in Spain, which she tries so hard to hide to the point that she gets herself a fake partner. Bobbie, the second, hides her feelings of always being the odd one out. She does everything and anything for her family, but never got the attention that she deserved or wanted from her family. Then, Alex finds it hard to sort out the misunderstanding between her and Bobbie, neither of them listening to the other.

These are examples in the movie depicting how being too prideful could lead to a lack of communication which spirals into more a tumultuous bond. In the end, they did manage to fix the situation, though if none of them opened up it would lead to their relationship breaking.

Evidently, this does not only affect the three sisters but everyone in the family. It caused their mother, and two youngest siblings pain as well, considering the fear of their bond being broken apart.

What does this say about Philippine Society?

Throughout the movie, I was able to relate the characters’ experiences to mine. The constant pressure of wanting to be someone your parents could show off. The repetitive comparison between each sibling creates unnecessary competitiveness, moreover, the anxiety that comes with never wanting to bring shame to your family. These aspects play a significant part in why we find it challenging to open up.

It would be safe to say that this kind of mindset is toxic, and is prone to give an individual lower self-esteem. As someone who has developed this mentality, I believe that the standards of Filipino society are unhealthy, and cause too much stress, especially for the younger generation.

Although this movie had a happy ending, it taught us how we should learn to accept ourselves and the people we care about. Yes, it is understandable to be afraid of disappointment. Naturally, everyone strives for perfection. What’s not right is for this fear to hold you back from doing the things you want. I know that each of us wants to live doing what we enjoy the most, however, the normalized “ideal person,” here in the Philippines holds us back. There shouldn’t be stereotypical standards, it is absurd and it just creates tension in a bond between members, which can cause friction, aiding in a more damaging environment.

Changing for the Better

Overall, the Philippines should change their way of motivating their child/children. Comparing them to others, pressuring them to pursue a path that they did not choose for themselves, and immediately showing dismay as to what they may like would end up discouraging them instead.

Ask them how they feel about your opinion first, and give them permission to speak. It’s the little things that would build an honest and open relationship between two or more people. On the other hand, it’s also the little things that might become their reason for hesitation.

Push back the standards, and start all over again. Respect the boundaries a child gives, it creates more reassurance towards them, thus, building a more sustainable trusting foundation in a family dynamic. Encouraging a more healthy status.

Though this was just merely a comedic movie, it helped portray the setting of what most Filipino families face. Being able to view it from a wider perspective, through the film we are able to pick and notice problems that occur in a ‘Filipino household.’ Therefore, we should be able to learn from the mistakes they made, in order to avoid them happening in our families as well.