ANGERMAD

(Y’all I just discovered the best new word)

I was googling pictures to pair with small essays I had written online. As I was going to type in the word “mad” and hit enter I didn’t realize I had left my previous word in the search bar. The combination of the two giving birth to ANGERMAD; which I actually love and I think it should definitely be brought to the attention of Mr. Merriam-Webster post haste.

Regardless if the word doesn’t get the critical acclaim it so deserves, (and probably a bit of a pat on the back for me, it’s creator/ mother/ guardian) I am still going to be using it is as common speak from here on out. I’m assuming the limited amount of people I surround myself with will either give up trying to correct me and/or realize I am not in fact having a mini stroke; and maybe even *internal squealing* give in to it’s awesomeness and begin using it themselves too. Thereby maybe one day making angermad a legitimate word brought into verbal circulation; as all these things eventually pan out to (finna, gucci, derp etc.)

I mean it’s brilliant, there are so many situations that come to mind where angermad would’ve been perfect to yell at the top of my lungs or at least pair it’s greatness with a hashtag under a photo capturing said incidents.

So for instance this one morning (at band camp jk) I had made a fantastic morning smoothie packed with all the vitamins and protein and other substances that keep me alive and vital. Which I keep in this blender bottle that I then bring into work so that I can enjoy the smoothie drink throughout the morning hours at my leisure. I should also add that along with the smoothie bottle I also carry my 1400mL water bottle, a medium coffee drink, and my lunch sack (plastic bag) on daily work week basis. I carry all these items all in one go from my car’s parking lot spot up into my office building (because I’m not a quitter or a 2 trip taker type of person). I usually make the short trek fine most days, I mean I occasionally have to improvise. (I.E. shove my car keys into my mouth and deposit my phone into my sports bra to free up some hand carrying space). But I make it work; usually.

Except this morning where I did not (Tim Gunn) make it work. Instead I accidentally dropped my entire smoothie and my freshly brewed coffee beverage all onto the parking lot, not 3 steps from my car. At first I was totally like “woah,” and mesmerized by all the colors of the 2 liquids swirling into each other. But I quickly realized that now I have just libationed (sp?) the most important meal of the day as well as my caffeine fix onto the ground for the parking lot gods to take. A much different emotion after mesmerized washed over me. (Also side note super impressed I used the word “libation” instead of what I was going to originally use which was “ghetto pour.” And TBH I only just learned of this words’ existence because I thought ghetto pour may seem a bit classless and crass so instead I typed into google “ dumping liquid onto ground for the dead homies.” Google knew exactly what I meant tho. Props to you google. I’m going to libation some water out for you right now onto my office floor).

Anyways back to me being pissed about totally Jackson Pollock-ing my work parking lot. The emotions that were hitting me hardest were those of FML mixed with a twinge of wanting to kick myself in the face. But had I known about angermad, that’s totally what I would’ve shouted up to the heavens and it is totally accurate of everything I was feeling in that exact instance. It’s also what i should’ve hashtagged (sp?) under my insta photo, instead of what I actually tagged which was #yaymondays. Gram it or it never happened, ya know?

Anyways the word is awesome and I’m going to personally make sure it sticks around.

Also side note, I don’t think the word “libationed” exists just guessing by the angry red line beneath it and right now by the fact that the online dictionary doesn’t recognize it. So I’ve just tried to find it’s closest relative that would mean the same thing, more or less, and that word is LABIATE. Which at first I totally thought was going to be naughty (hence the caps). But after some more research I now know it means “having the limb of a tubular corolla or calyx divided into 2 unequal parts projecting one over the other like lips.”

?

Which actually sounds just as dirty and I don’t even understand half the words in that sentence, so actually I don’t even know what the word labiate even means. So basically I lose twice because I don’t know how to use the term “libations” correctly and I have no fuckin’ clue was a calyx is.

ugh! ANGERMAD! #angermad

Please spread this word. :)