…n which we are so deeply inclined to self-validate, we end up standing in our own way out of pride. It is even more difficult to acknowledge that very often, the things we envy in others are fragments of our deepest desires, the ones we won’t allow ourselves to have.
t turns out, is not …s introduced to something they highly desired, the dopamine surge would diminish after acquisition. Dopamine, it turns out, is not the chemical that gives you pleasure, it’s the chemical that gives you the pleasure of wanting more.
The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them… To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just as long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies — all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word o…
Couples who strive to judge each other benevolently — interpreting each other’s good behaviour as deliberate and habitual, and each other’s transgressions as accidental and limited (wherever possible and sensible) — are more likely to be satisfied in their relationships overall.
Cognitive Dissonance is described as the feeling of acute mental distress produced by holding two or more contradictory beliefs at the same time, or by believing one thing and doing another. Festinger proposed that “the greater the discomfort, the greater the desire to reduce the dissonance of the two cognitive elements.”