Phyllis Garrison
Nov 2 · 2 min read

Life long North Carolinian here. Retired school teacher. Extremely well traveled. I have discovered that people are pretty much the same everywhere one goes. Different accents. Different expressions. Different habits. But human beings are human beings wherever they live, and most people are doing the best they can.

I rarely say “bless your heart,” but once in a while I do say “bless you.” Every time I say it, I mean it. I hear people on my TV constantly saying that “bless your heart” is sarcastic and mean. I don’t understand that. I’ve never heard anyone say it that way. I certainly never would.

I was my dear mother’s sole caregiver for years. I bathed her, dressed her, puréed her food, took her to doctors’ appointments and lots of other places, pushed her around in a wheelchair, all of it. It was hard. I cried almost every day because I thought I wasn’t doing a good enough job. But I was also thankful — and, yes, blessed — that I was able to do it. People were constantly telling me how much they “admired” me. It would really get under my skin. I would tell them, “Nothing admirable going on here. I’m just doing what I have to do.” I would much rather have heard “bless you” or “bless your heart.” She’s been gone seven years now, and I feel nothing but gratitude for the experience.

In recent years, a lot of store clerks around here have taken to ending the exchange with the words, “Have a blessed day.” It used to bother me some, but I got used to it, and now I usually respond, “Thank you. You, too.”

I don’t know, and you don’t know, what that store clerk or the people you met in your journey have been through in their lives. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had a heartbreak or a tribulation. We’re all here together on this planet. I for one can use every blessing I can get.

The South is a wonderful place. It isn’t perfect. Nowhere is. But people for the most part are kind and understanding. I suggest you give us another try. You may just receive a blessing.

    Phyllis Garrison

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