Am I a Lone Wolf?

I recently met a former law classmate after many years. After miles of conversation, he said, “You are still the lone wolf, aren’t you?” I asked -What do you mean?.

Honestly, I know precisely what he meant. However, I allowed him to elaborate. I smiled as I watched him struggle to articulate, but I had a fair idea of his thoughts. We spent much time together as law students, and he would have had a pretty good idea of my personality.

However, the researcher in me went to work to understand this personality type.

The term “lone wolf” originally referred to a wild animal, like a wolf, that lived and hunted alone rather than in a pack. When applied to a human being, it refers to an individual who prefers solitude and operates independently rather than actively seeking or participating in social groups or communities.

I will not quite describe myself as such.

Here are some characteristics commonly associated with a lone wolf personality; some I can relate to and for a good reason.

1. Independence: Lone wolves are self-reliant and often prefer to make decisions and solve problems independently. They value their autonomy and may resist authority or group dynamics restricting their freedom. I can also be a great team player.
2. Introversion: Lone wolves typically lean towards introversion, finding energy and solace in solitary activities. They may feel drained or overwhelmed by extensive social interactions and prefer to recharge alone. I appreciate alone time; I like certain activities like running alone. This is when I find solutions to challenges.
3. Self-sufficiency: A lone wolf tends to rely on their skills and abilities to accomplish tasks or meet their needs. They are less inclined to seek help or assistance from others, even in challenging situations.
4. Deep thinkers: Lone wolves often spend significant time introspecting and reflecting on their thoughts and emotions. They may have a solid inner world and prefer contemplation over external distractions.
5. Emotional reservation: Lone wolves might be guarded when expressing emotions or opening up to others. They may struggle to express vulnerabilities or seek emotional support from friends or family. My vulnerabilities are reserved for the trusted.
6. Limited social interactions: While not anti-social, lone wolves tend to have fewer social connections or maintain only a few close relationships. They may feel content with a small circle of trusted friends or even prefer spending most of their time in solitude. This is me!
7. Individualistic pursuits: Lone wolves often have unique interests, passions, or hobbies they pursue independently. They may not conform to societal norms or trends and prefer to follow their path. I have permanently opted for the least travel path; I sometimes need help to follow the crowd.
8. Resilience: Lone wolves are accustomed to facing challenges alone, which can build resilience and self-reliance. They may be able to adapt to different situations and find solutions independently.

Being a lone wolf is not necessarily harmful or a cause for concern. I naturally (like others) have solitary tendencies, and that’s perfectly normal.

However, it’s also essential to balance and ensure that social connections and support networks are available when needed, as social interaction is vital for mental well-being and personal growth.

I may exercise a lone wolf personality as I prioritise personal freedom and autonomy over conforming to societal expectations or others’ demands.

At times, these traits can be both empowering and isolating, as they can lead to a sense of alienation from others who do not share common values.

However, it allowed me to chart my path in life, pursuing passion and living on my terms.

Despite a strong showing of these traits, I have always balanced between the need for freedom, connections, and community and finding ways to remain authentic while engaging with others meaningfully.

I have been a counsellor to many, a Rotarian for decades, and an HR professional, so connections are natural with these activities.

It’s incredible how one can describe your personality type, which sometimes appears foreign to you!

Maybe a quasi-lone wolf?