This past week I was calm and untroubled for about 93 per cent of the time — which is a lot in my world. I still fret about things not going my way but it’s something I work on letting go.
I began with my art and my mini-essays. I share with you my best, one day at a time and that’s it. Learning and practising take precedence over harshly judging my own work. I assess what I did wrong and do better next time.
Even if it hurts my soul to post an awful looking picture — it’s on me. I didn’t take the time to experiment enough with the lighting or I didn’t have the patience to do so. But I tap ‘share’ nonetheless.
I have to.
At the moment, I’m swamped with so much content — I’m trying — and failing — to publish daily a piece from every project I started. I don’t care about the possibility of “posting too much” or creating a feed with a particular aesthetic. Well, I like it colourful. I confess. I had a plan. I looked into how to create one of those neat and lovely feeds we always see on Instagram but it’s too much hassle for my brain at the moment. So, I keep it fun and with as many colours as possible.
I still think I’m not doing enough.
I still think I mess up a lot of things.
I still think I’m rubbish.
I’m showing up each day.
I’m being a cheerleader for others.
I’m thinking about how to bring more value.
On Monday, I edited my answers for a project I did earlier in the year. The #100daysofqanda project part of #the100dayproject was tough. Not because it was a daily challenge for more than three months. No. Sitting your butt in a chair and writing is not hard. It requires discipline.
Don’t throw pumpkins at me yet!
Everything in this life requires consistency, passion AND discipline. Even if you write three sentences — it’s a win. I never experienced writer’s block (YET!) so I can’t say anything about that. I heard that taking a walk works. But I digress. As I re-read my writings… they weren’t cringe-worthy. However, misspelt words and grammatical errors are sprinkled in there.
From 100 the number of times I made zero excuses is 99. Towards the end, I missed out once but I posted two answers the following day. Still, I kept going even when I had all the right to hit “pause” and deal with what was happening in my life. Probably continuing was my saving grace and the reason why right now I have the content to put together a book.
Lovelies, writing and art create my oasis of serenity in the middle of a battlefield.
How’s that making any sense?
Well, when you know what you’re fighting for everything else becomes static noise in the background. Worrying about how things will turn out is only munching on your time to dream, plan and execute.
Thank you for reading!