The Subtle Art of “Not” Fitting in
Sitting along with a group of people, not finding the cracks of their jokes fascinating or feeling left out, in terms of connectivity with people, can make you feel an unfit in the social setting. It makes you question about yourself. Questions like; “Am I a freak?” “Why do I not get along with people?” “Why am I not like everyone else?”
A blank canvas might seem all bland as all of it is plain white. But as you start stroking it with a variety of colors like- red, purple or orange; the canvas seems more diverse and beautiful. Going by the metaphor of color, as you are yourself, your individuality adds color to the world. But if you try to adjust and mold yourself according to your friends or peers you, just get lost into the unvarying whiteness.
More or less all of us had times in our life where we felt we didn’t fit in, isn’t it? As a teenager I used to feel that way as well. Like all of my classmates, I wasn’t too much into sports, play stations or action figures. It was so then I used to feel like an unfit piece of a puzzle.
Here are the following things you can keep in mind when you feel that way:
Love yourself for who you are
Here is a fact; no human being in this entire universe was, is, or will be perfect. But yes, every individual is perfectly imperfect. Your tiny perfect imperfections are what make you the amazing “you”.
Surely you, me; in fact we’ve all been ridiculed for our certain traits of appearance or habits. Tooth gap, skin color, body, height, weight,vocal tone, body movements, dressing style- you name it! But you know what? Their comments never matter. Life becomes simpler the moment you accept yourself for who you are and express yourself accordingly .
Utilize your Individuality
Each individual has a knack at something different than the other. Our existence in this worldly life comes with a purpose. Precisely, your unique quality and interest is what you are exactly here for.
If being goofy, funny or silly is your trait of personality, your purpose in life can be to spread laughter, joy, and happiness. Passionate about writing? Probably creating impact through words can be your purpose. If colorful hair or your nose pin defines your appearance, do it! Whatever that brings you peace and comfort; do it!
Embrace your individuality; utilize it for generating a world of diverse wonders.
Stop trying too hard to adjust
If you are having a hard time connecting with your peers, do not push yourself too hard to meld in. When you focus on being liked or accepted by others, you lose your essence. Relationship, friendship or connection never happens forcefully.
How to identify people which is worthwhile for you. Well, the ones who give you ease and comfort to be your craziest self; the ones who do not bear any agenda; the ones who love for both your strength and flaws are the ones you should clench your ties with. It is only then when connection happens. If it doesn’t feel that way, maybe you’re not dating the right person or hanging out with the right group of people.
Be yourself when you socialize
Attempting to socialize might sound like a terrifying idea to some people. But interaction is necessary as it helps you to learn how diverse people’s perspective can be. Plus, when you your depict your true self, you can come across people with equivalent outlook and mentality.
So show the world your individuality. Eventually you’ll come across best people you can possibly have in life.
Surround yourself with uplifting spirit
I feel one of the best ways to recognize awesome people in life are that their love grows based on how amazing you are as a human being instead of any personal benefits or conditions. They will adore and accept your perfectly bizarre imperfections with all their might. And for that, surround yourself with inspiring and optimistic people; people who will be by your side to pick you up through your worst times and celebrate with you during your best times. They are the kind of people you don’t have to fit in for.
So yeah.. Be wacky, silly, crazy, witty, sensible, kind, wondrous or whatever it makes you “you”. You’re not here to fit in but to stand out.
