The end of this month will mark the one year anniversary of the start of my dream job. While I’m still excited and grateful for the opportunity, my grueling schedule has been taking a toll on me the past few months. The “one or two” late nights I was warned about in my interview has turned into seven or eight, which results in about one-third of the workdays in a month. This is tough for me, because I’m an involved father. I’m not just a walking sperm bank. My wife and I share parenting duties, so I change diapers, give baths, cook, clean, read, do puzzles, get up in the middle of the night, pick out outfits and (try to) do my kid’s hair.
But I can handle that schedule, even if it means waking up at 4 a.m. and washing dishes at midnight because I live for those moments when she’s snuggled up on me under a blanket as we read one of her favorite books. In fact, I was sure I could handle anything, at least in the short term.
For the first week of every month, I barely see my family. I spend at least two nights at my in-laws’ house, which is far closer to my office than my own home. This month, since it was the end of the fiscal quarter, was shaping up to be even more chaotic than usual. I had just finished a 15-hour day and was crawling into bed shortly after midnight when my phone buzzed with a text. It was from my wife, 97 miles away in our home.
My wife loves sleep far more than she loves me, so if she was up that late, I knew there was a problem.
I then waited for several long minutes, watching those little dots in bottom left corner of the screen move and flicker as I waited for her response.
There’s an inverse relationship between time and money. For the vast majority of us, we have more of one at the expense of the other. An unemployed parent can spend all day with the kids while worrying about paying the mortgage and putting food on the table while one with a high-paying job that can pay for anything is rarely home, leaving the kids to be raised by others. It’s a balancing act that is constantly in flux.
When my daughter was born, all I thought about was how I was going to pay for her — and our collective lives together. I was consumed by the numbers and the dollar signs. So I left my job, the one that didn’t pay great, but had allowed me the freedom and flexibility to go to therapy twice a week as well as every single prenatal doctor appointment, for a big, corporate gig that offered a fatter salary, bonuses and profit sharing, but with less flexibility and freedom. That’s the trade-off.
In the end, it’s a balancing act that never ends, like surfing on a neverending wave. Lean too far to the left or right and you completely lose your balance. The key is to not completely wipe out and drown.
Christopher Pierznik is the author of six books, including Publish Your Book for FREE! His books can be purchased in Paperback, Kindle, and Nook. A former feature contributor and managing editor of I Hate JJ Redick, he has also written for XXL, Please Don’t Stare, Amusing My Bouche, Reading & Writing is for Dumb People, and others. He works in finance and spends his evenings changing diapers and drinking craft beer. He once applied to be a cast member on The Real World, but was rejected. You can like his Facebook page here, follow him on Twitter here, and read more of his work here.
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