The Parenting Techniques of Bobby Bonds

From the start, he was determined to make his son a star

I had a dental appointment this morning. Naturally, I brought a book with me.

I carry at least one book (and/or Kindle) with me everywhere I go. That way, if I’m stuck in a line or a waiting room, I have something on hand to read. Currently, I’m reading Love Me, Hate Me, Jeff Pearlman’s fascinating biography of Barry Bonds, in part because I’m interested in Bonds as a subject and I think Pearlman is a terrific writer, but also as research for something that I hope will be in my next book.

My dentist is a tall, lanky black man in his mid-to-late 40’s with a rich baritone and a relaxed gait. He reminds me a little bit of Idris Elba. As I put my book down and settled into the torture chair, he looked down and said, “His father used to hang out with my father.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, Bobby Bonds,” he replied. “My father was a broadcaster in Cleveland when he was there. [Bonds played for the Indians in 1979 and served as the team’s hitting coach from 1984–1987.] He’d come over and they’d drink beer and watch games on TV.”

That made sense. Bobby Bonds had a reputation — one that is reinforced repeatedly in the book — for being an alcoholic and a troublemaker. Barry had mixed emotions towards his father for much of his childhood and up through college — he was often drunk and embarrassing, especially in public, but he was also a Major Leaguer, one that had been subjected to incredible racism, so he could help Barry navigate his own career.

Bobby always planned for Barry to not only play professionally, but to be a star, and when Bobby Bonds entered Major League Baseball, there was no bigger star than Willie Mays, so that’s who Bobby — and, subsequently, Barry — emulated.

As Pearlman writes early in the book:

Like his athleticism, his confidence was a hand-me-down from Dad. Bobby learned from Mays that to be a superstar, one must carry himself like a superstar. That meant being occasionally difficult with the press…It meant carrying himself with an air of distance and danger. Barry watched and adopted Bobby’s swagger at a young age.

We are all products of our parents to some degree, of course, and Bobby is far from the only reason his son turned out the way he did, but it’s clear that Barry Bonds was bred to be the man that has now become a villainous pariah. As Pearlman himself wrote, “Barry Bonds is an evil man. A truly evil man.”

“Was he cool?” I asked, referring to the elder Bonds.

“Yeah, you know, he was just Mr. Bonds to us. He would bring a six pack over — my dad didn’t really have much liquor in the house — and they would just drink and talk. I never met his son, though, which is kind of weird since we were close to the same age. But he would tell me about Barry. He said that he would throw baseballs as hard as he could at him to try to toughen him up. He told him, ‘If you can get used to this, you’ll be ready for the big leagues.’”

“It seemed to work,” I said.

“That it did,” my dentist agreed.

Then, as he began lowering the chair, I started gripping the arm rests.