It will suck , but it will be awesome
This is a story about me, you, and all the people you know.
It’s a reflection about the value, the benefit, the struggle, the joy, the learnings, the experience, the pain, the achievements, the growth, the tears, the homesickness, the takeaways, the places, the stories, the hassle, the happiness and the journey of Leaving.
It’s a walk through what sucks, to celebrate what’s incredibly awesome, and what rewarding finally really means, outside of your comfort zone.
I’m looking at you, reading this post sitting at your house, in your own city that you never left. But I am also looking at you, that have left already and maybe moved around quite a bit like myself.
I hope it will be useful for you both: for some to find the courage to try, for others to be happy of having done it. Always.
I still remember the first time I left. I wasn’t ready, like no-one really is, but once again I was mistaken on what exactly I was not ready for.
I soon realised it was not about the friends left behind, you’ll make new ones faster than you think.
And it was not about leaving my city, my parks, my bars, my alleys.
(trust me, I had pretty amazing ones to miss, check it out yourself here, credits to this guy)
Thos you’ll actually enjoying discover new ones, this time for real, not on vacation mood.
For me the turning point happened to be seeing my mother getting really emotional at the idea of not having me around the house with my loud, crazy, stupid presence anymore.
I have always been that kind of person more sensible to what I cause into others than what others cause to me, but that’s not the point I am trying to make.
The point is, something will suck, for each one of you when leaving. But it will also teach you a first, AMAZING lesson, that you would have never learned otherwise.
Don’t get me wrong, I always knew I loved my mother (come on, I’m Italian, Pizza Mamma Mia Spaghetti…that’s who we are no?), but I never knew it in mature, rational and concrete way. Up till that moment it was a given. I was there she was there, we were mom and son, of course we loved each other. But in that moment it just became truly true.
And if you’re lucky maybe your turning point it’s something easier. Maybe you’ll miss your jar of KitKats or your the noise of your neighbour’s alarm.
I have now been away from home for five years.
Might sound many to some, few to others.
I have lived in 4 different countries across Europe, and I can definitely tell you that this helped me smile through the back pains of packing and moving boxes 4 times in 5 years.
Some of the things I learned include:
- Adaptability. I can now confidently state that you can throw me somewhere, and I will most likely find a balance.
Pro tip: pick a place where you don’t get s***t about the culture nor the language. Twice the hassle, twice the benefit.
- Prioritisation. Your friends and loves are the ones something inside you will tell you to put some efforts and keep close, even if distant. Not forcely the ones you see because of habits or routine, the ones dictated by external factors or the convenient ones.
- ...And of course I’m now Ninja level at relocation.
But the actual #1benefit of leaving again and again is the joy of coming back.
Similarly to the point raised above, I never appreciated “my places” as much as I do now.
I never got so excited by going back home after a day at work as I do now.
I have never appreciated so much a phone call from a friend, a message and a few hours spent together with beloved ones as I do now.
And I have never been so proud of my country, my origins and of what’s written on my passport as I am now.
And this, to me, is another nice plus(depending where you’re from: French and American friends, you might not need any extra boost here)
Now, if you made it all the way down here and you are still scrolling and reading (THANK YOU!) by now you’re probably thinking “what a lame and full of sadness perspective this mama boy!”
And you would be right. I sucked on the upsides till here.
But here is the thing. No “trust me, I know” words was ever sufficient to me. So I figured I try to give something more relatable.
To all of you that might be thinking: life is good back here at home, why would I even take the risk of going through the pains to get the gain?
But then think of this. At current pace, the World will become too small, too easy to travel, too connected, too uniformed to actually gain anything meaningful out of the actual leaving.
And if we only get one shot at life (I truly hope this will change, but I doubt we’ll find anyone able to confirm anytime soon) do you really wanna miss out?
The freaking World Health Organization estimates your life expectancy at approx 72 years, you do have some spare months to take this risk. And you’ll find more about yourself than what you will do not leaving. “Trust me, I know”
And to all of you that might be thinking: “I’m on your same boat buddy, but what’s the point? Why dragging me in this reading”?
You’re right too.
My message for you, which is actually a message to myself through you (remember, I’ve always been more sensible to others than myself) is:
Be proud of the choice you made.
Be happy about the choice you made.
Be positive about the choice you made. Even when your job sucks, you miss home and your friends post pictures of beautiful beaches and sunny weather and you live in Ireland (oh Hey! Fancy grabbing a beer together?)
If you have tried and you are happy. Awesome.
If you have tried and are sad. Be happy.
If you have tried and miss home. Be Sad. And then be Happy because you learned what that feeling actually means.
Thank you for making it to here. I don’t honestly know if I would have, but since you did, I would appreciate any feedback/comment you might have.
At the end of the day I write to exchange thoughts with more people, in more places, with more ideas