What is Wrong With You?

Why aren’t more men stepping up and at taking a stand against sexism, or any ‘isms’?


Almost everyday I see new tidbits on social media. A woman has been harassed. Another has had her rape threats dismissed as unimportant. Women are quitting the tech world because it is too abusive. Women not getting the help they need against domestic violence.

I see these and I share them. I often make a point of sharing them during times when more of my twitter followers are online. I want more people to see them and share what is happening with their followers.

But nothing happens.

I’m not referring to the continuing systematic diminishing of women. That is going to take a long time to change. What I don’t see is men that follow me spreading the word. I don’t see retweets or the articles being opened.

Over 100 men see each of these tweets and I can count the shares each WEEK on one hand.

It is frustrating and it is making me mad. I know many of my followers in real life. I think they are good people. While I don’t expect them to read everything I share, they do see a lot of it. They should be sharing it.

Unless they don’t care.

Sharing the stories and raising awareness is the LEAST that a man can do to help women. It is easy and requires almost no effort. It helps spread the word about what is happening. What is happening isn’t just one incident or an ugly rumor. It is real.

What really upsets me is that if a man isn’t willing to at least spread the word when it takes little effort, what are they doing after from their computer? Are they stopping discrimination when they see it? Are they taking steps to make sure that they are not inadvertently contributing to the problem?

Are they part of the problem and happy with the way things are?

It is time to start trying to find out.

It is time to take this further. My calendar is loaded with industry events starting in month. Every man who I know or shares a drink with me is going to be asked what they are doing to help. I’m going to ask them why I never see them share anything.

If they don’t have good answers and aren’t willing to start helping, our relationship is going to change.

I urge you to do the same.

Passive support is nice. Visible support is better. Active support is critical.

I’m shifting into Active. If you aren’t willing to at least be Visible in your support, then you aren’t helping.

And if you aren’t helping, then maybe you are part of the problem after all.