
Should we be okay with all-female networks?
Women in Tech and Ladies, Wine & Design are only two of the many professional networks that I’d love to join weren’t they exclusively for well… us ladies. While I’m all for equality and feminism, isn’t gender-based exclusion exactly what got us into this mess in the first place? And how on earth can we break the glass ceiling if we’re too busy putting up our own walls? And am I really okay with my boyfriend/nephew/godson being denied access to a professional network because of his genitals?
What’s up with the old girls’ club?
Look, I know just as well as the next gal that being a woman at work can be the worst. I’ve been called emotional, aggressive and loud, where my male colleagues exhibiting similar behaviors have been praised as passionate, assertive and outspoken. I have blown the whistle for sexual harassment and been told by a male executive that I’m overreacting — after all, it was just some harmless WhatsApp messages and anyway, I’m not even old enough to have witnessed the shenanigans at an ad agency holiday party some fifteen years ago — now that was sexual harassment!
In this kind of environment, it’s no surprise that women have started to seek the company and professional support of other women. But while I admit that I have enjoyed all three of the strictly-female afterwork events I have attended, I’ve started to seriously question the logic that guides their existence: By welcoming women alone, are we sending a message that we’re okay with being excluded from male-only gatherings with similar agendas? Or are we trying to get literal revenge on the old boys’ club? And what if the old boys just wanted to join us for some wine and design?
A love song to all-female events
Passing judgement on female-only groups feels wrong, especially because the organizers mean no harm — quite the opposite. And even if they were a little bit vindictive in their pursuits, who could really blame them? Besides, it’s nice to be surrounded by people who take you seriously, respect your personal space and make you feel safe enough to express your thoughts in front a room full of strangers.
Belonging to such networks is a great way to meet like-minded people, learn new things and find out about job opportunities that might otherwise go unnoticed. What’s more, these events seem to attract the kinds of women who have each other’s back. And with no evil stepsisters, jealous stepmoms or other witches around, the atmosphere is typically rather warm and friendly. Now what could possibly be the harm in joining such a wonderful group?
Catch more flies with honey
Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe that women can and should help each other to succeed. In fact, I think that some one-on-one mentoring from a strong female character within my field of interest could do a world of good for me. But the difference lies in numbers: gender aside, there’s nothing wrong with seeking advice from a personal mentor, but when you build a professional network around something as arbitrary as gender, you might end up hurting innocent people in the process.
Just because some (mad) men have had the audacity to exclude women from their whiskey-drinking and cigar-smoking parties in the past doesn’t mean that we have to return the favor. If anything, we should take the moral high ground and welcome diversity into our professional networks. After all, once you’re aiming for that glass ceiling, you’re going to want all the support you can get.
