Was Master’s degree right for me?

Maybe typing this at the end of my second semester in my Master’s degree is not such a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying my time here. My course is fantastic; the lecturers are extremely passionate about their subject, the friends I have made throughout my program are one of the best I could have asked for, the city I am living in also has no flaws — everything in my life is perfect. I am very thankful I have had this opportunity. Although I feel like something is not right.

I went into postgraduate education straight after my first degree. Of course it is on something I am completely fascinated by, and I do not regret choosing this area at all. However, part of the reason I did it was out of a panic as I didn’t want to go home and I felt like I was not ready for the job market, while another part was because my dad wanted me to pursue a degree further than a bachelor degree. I was not sure what to do. I was only a 21-years old girl who was so confused and lost, and there it is…I decided to go for it. I was one of the last person to have enrolled onto the course, and I must have managed to secure one of the last room on university accommodation as well. Everything was so rush. I felt like I did not have time to think everything through at all.

The course, of course, was very intense. I had done my undergraduate study in the same area, but this was far more in-depth and different…although I enjoyed it. However, I was one of the youngest people in the course and I came unequipped with work experiences. There were so many time I felt like I don’t truly understood the concept that was taught in the lecture. I did not know what to relate on. When I worked in a group project, I felt like what I knew from textbook was completely different to what I am facing. I felt like I could not contribute as much and that left me quite frustrated. Perhaps if I had waited for a few more years, I could have been more mature, more experienced, more ready to take on this course and get more from it? My doubt came again when I was selecting dissertation topic. It is on something I have been fascinated on since before entering university. Although that left me thinking as to why have I not gone and study on a degree that is specific in this area?

Despite all this, I also see the good sides of it. Aside from the knowledge I gained from this course, I definitely felt like my thoughts have become more matured as well. I feel like I think more systematically. I become more critical on things I see and it takes more for me to completely believe something (which I believe is a good thing). The course has taught me to be a thinker. It has taught me to think outside of the box, but always relate back to the basis of reality. The course allow me to experiment on things without having dire consequences attached to it. It prepared me for a more “real” environment that I will be facing in a few months after I have finished my dissertation.

So, to come back and think about whether Master’s degree was good for me or not? The answer is — I don’t know. The entire experience has been fantastic. I have learned a lot which was the whole point of being in education. I have definitely grown up, both academically and as a person. I got to try, experiment, experienced. On the other hand, it left me with so much doubt on whether all these time and money was worth it. Could I have gotten more out of my course if I had waited a few more years? Would it benefit me more if I had some experiences before joining the course?

I can’t, and I won’t conclude by saying whether this was a good or bad idea. I don’t know, and maybe I will let my future tell me if everything was worth it.

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