People have been asking me questions about my life lately. In response, I have created an FAQ sheet here for the overly curious.
A: That is not a question
Q: Why did you just exit your workplace, step into your car for 2 seconds, then go running back in?
A: My mother, who was driving the car, turned to me as I entered. Her eyes seemed wholly unfocused. “Have you killed god? You cannot go home until you have killed god.” So I had to get that shit done.
Q: Why do you look like an acne riddled insomniac?
A: I don’t, I look like an acne riddled narcoleptic. Which I am. Dick.
Q: Did you know that you tweet like a wild bonobo?
A: This is really less a question than a comment, I feel like I’m being led here.
Q: Tits or ass?
Quote me on this shit.