Okay so I got on the subway home last night and it took forever to leave the station. It just stood there growling with all it’s doors open, so people just kept packing in and packing in until no one else could fit.
Finally it left the station… and then lurched to a stop in the middle of the tube somewhere between Union Square and Brooklyn Bridge. And we waited there ass to elbows getting hotter because it was in the 70s and very humid. So we all start taking off our clothes until we are in our t-shirts and by then people with anxiety disorders are starting to exhibit symptoms, like the lady to my left who suddenly stood up…and exclaimed “I’m starting to feel nervous!”
Luckily, a very tall lanky white woman on her other side offers her some of her water and I say.. Just take a sip, breath slowly and look at me, ok? And she looks at me all sweaty and then I try to think of something comforting and uplifting so I say… “Listen…”. But I can’t really think because it’s so hot or maybe I’m just staving off a panic attack myself and I say again, to stall for time, and for emphasis, I say again, “Listen …. did you know …that most people die… alone… in their homes, all by themselves? I mean shit, it looks like we are going to die with all these…wonderful people… in one of the 20th century’s most…. incredible inventions, in one of the most…. amazing cities of, in all likelihood…the universe? Some folks would give their right arm to die like this….I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but I am feeling pretty fucking good about this right now!
And then I looked around, and everyone’s eyes are as big as dinner plates. Empty, scraped clean, Thanksgiving dinner plates. Like, I-can’t-believe-I just-ate-all-that-shit dinner plates for eyes. And I look back at the lady and now she is laughing so hard she’s crying.
Or maybe she was just crying, I’m not sure.