Lost

It was raining.

Only slightly though. Large droplets of water fell on the park at a leisurely pace, feeling unimportant, like they didn’t have to come.

No one wanted them here.

It was Valentines Day. The sun was supposed to be out and all the couples were supposed to grace the park, but that plan was dropped by rain that didn’t even want to come! The town surrounding the park carried on as usual. The cars bustled about, slower than usual because it’s raining. People shuffled about, shopping, exploring, doing whatever all with hoods up and coats comforting their bodies.

This was an amazing Valentine’s Day.

***

I was amongst the crowds, walking towards the park. The rain was beginning to cease just as my story starts, so you can imagine this Valentine’s Day to be sunny and special and stuff. I was going to meet my boyfriend. We’ve been together for exactly a year. He asked me out on Valentine’s day, it was quite shocking. There I was last year, hanging with my friend and their boyfriends, when we went to a party and I met him. He was pretty cute, and shy too. I was shy too but we talked a lot through that party. And then he asked me out, and that was that!

With it being Valentine’s day and our one year anniversary, it is more special than other relationships I think, so rain or shine: I’m going to the park to meet him. To meet my boyfriend.

***

It truly was a happy day. Not so long ago were the clouds looking like they could fire their load upon the land, but no longer. Things were looking like they could get better.

I strolled under the arch acting as the entrance to the park. Some old couples were sitting on some benches nearby. Despite the sun, it was cold and they were sat close together. Their wrinkled faces, bony arms. They’ve been with each other for years, and they’ve loved each other for eternity. I’ve lived for sixteen years, and had three boyfriends. Small unwanted strings of guilt ran through me. Will I ever settle down with someone? There probably will be a Mr Right one day. But is my boyfriend Mr Right?

Yes. He is. I love him. We’ve been together for one year, we can be together for forever.

I removed all doubts from my mind and concentrated on finding him. We said we’d meet by the pond, then we might go somewhere. Have lunch, maybe go back to this for…

There he was! I saw him. He was of an average height, had dark brown short hair, and blue eyes. He wasn’t looking at me though. I don’t think he saw me.

My god, he was handsome!

I snuck up on, looking like an idiot in the process, but it didn’t work. He turned his head and his dazzling smile came to his face as he looked at me.

“Hey!”

“Hi!” I said, giving him a hug, but it was different. He didn’t feel welcoming, he felt restrained.

Maybe he was nervous about seeing me. He was shy, but so was I.

I really should get all these doubts out of my head. Move on!

He was really shy throughout the day, but he always is. I can’t believe he asked me if we wanted to feed the ducks. It was so cute. I kept holding his hand throughout the entire time. I felt so safe, so loved with him. I needed him.

Maybe that makes me a bit too clingy?

We went for Lunch outside a cafe. I kept holding his hand, never wanting to let go… even if it deterred me from eating. But he liked it too. Every time he looked at me, it was in the eyes. You trust people when you look at them in the eyes. His bright, beautifully blue eyes. I trusted him with my life.

Five o’clock. The sun was setting, and clouds were rolling in. It was going to rain. We didn’t go to his house. We hanged out in town, arm in arm, hand in hand. In love. We exchanged no presents though, but it didn’t matter.

We said goodbye at the pond, as he went one way, and I went the other. I hold his hands and stood really close to him. I stared in his eyes, trying not to blink too much. I was a little shy though. He moved his head closer, and rested his lips on my cheek for a milli-second. Then he gave me his dazzling smile, and left.

***

It was beginning to rain, the droplets falling faster than ever, coming down like they wanted to. I had to rush home now. I hate getting soaked.

I watched him leave, he turned to look back at me, but I quickly turned to make it look like I was walking away, not watching him. But I turned back, and watched him. I saw him go up to the opposite park entrance. I saw him stop. Despite the rain covering my eyes, and the thunder making its great sound, and the flash of lightning: I saw him meet a girl.

I saw them embrace, and kiss.

***

I stayed soaking for a few minutes. Watching. Stunned. I didn’t want to disturb them.

But my heart broke. I’ve lost him.