Close your eyes until you are 29, I took this advice from Gary Vee.
At the end of February 2018, I remembered a girl crying alone inside her apartment. She was doing nothing except crying and texting to her ex until she fell asleep around 3 a.m. every single day. What’s wrong with her?
That girl is me ! I couldn’t believe that I used to be such an annoying person in the world. You know what, If I could give some advice to anyone who are facing this kind of problem, I would tell them to Love Yourself period.
Okey, Let’s me tell you how all of my messy world started and ended.
In 2016, Tinder is one of the most famous app in the world (in my world as well) and I was one of those who used this app to find someone to hang out with. There were so many reasons behind. At my younger age, I didn’t have any self-confidence in myself, being an asian girl that had no outstanding appearance (dark skin, kinda chubby, shy and not rich enough to afford high-end cosmetics and skin care product).
However, I found one interesting thing to increase my self-confident level.
I started to dress more — in a chic style street-wear (my style at that period of time: tanned skin, strong body, putting on red lip stick and hanging out more often).
One day I found someone on Tinder, at first I thought this relationship was just for fun, I don’t have to be serious about this relationship that much and I had a lot of guys to hang out as well.
But, this was not just as usual. It turned out to be my first real relationship I ever had in my life. At the beginning, everything was so perfect.
I was true self, I still hung out like I used to,
went out to dinner like I used to,
went to gym with my crews at midnight like I used to,
but I was still talking with him every night and I was getting attached to his personality more and more. He was kind, charming and got a good humor which I loved the most. BTW, this was a long distance relationship,(don’t be surprised haha!, I know you do), We were keep talking to each other for 4 months and …
there were the day we finally met each other for the first time, I was kinda nervous because I had to date with someone who I only talked on phone not a real person for 4 months !! And I didn’t know what to do and what should I say when we first met. However, everything went well, we went to gym together, we went to cafe together, we called each other like other couples do. we met each other every school break semester, so there were few times in a year we could spend time together.
Have you ever heard this “your personality will become like the circle of people you spend time with”, this is bloody true!!, me and my ex were so close to each other, he called me when I woke up, taking a break from work, before going to gym, after finish from gym, arrive at my place and before going to bed. Okey, this was so crazy I knew. But I couldn’t get over it, I couldn’t see anything except him,
My happiness was not my goal in work-life anymore, it was him!
I wanted to make sure that he was happy, I could cancel any appointment with friends to stay with him, I could say no to any job offer just to be around him, I could put my all effort to lose weight just to make myself look good with him and to sum up my life at period of time, I could sacrifice my happiness for him.
Unfortunately, in the middle of July I think, I received the bad news from my dream-career company that I failed the final round of getting to be the cabin crew for this international airline, I was heart-broken at the end of the day, was crying alone in my bedroom, lied to everyone that I was totally fine, pretended to be superwomen who didn’t care about her dream job. And again, I cried alone, I didn’t tell anyone even my ex that I really aimed for this job for my entire life.
I stated to change a little bit, was so angry at my ex, I even asked him to break up with me and I started to distance myself from social and him as well. I felt like I was in the depressed mode, I woke up and starring at the wall in my room feeling so empty in the morning before getting to work and at the night before going to bed.
October 2017, I felt like I didn’t take care of myself, my love ones, my family, my friends enough. But I had no idea how to start, how to pick myself up, how to heal myself and how to save my relationship.
September 2017, I felt like everything was going to the end I kept beating myself, kept pushing everyone else away. I felt like my every relationship were getting worse and worse. But I did nothing to rescue myself and my people around me, I prayed for someone to save me from this difficult situations.
November and December 2017, Finally me and my ex met each other again, we had both good and bad memories during theses months,
It was weird how can we love someone so much and we know they wouldn’t leave us for sure …
then we hurt them with words that they should’t deserve. We demanded everything from those who love us and we say we love them.
It was me as well, no wonder why he left me at the end !
In the end of February 2018, he decided to leave me for the first time and this time was real. He decided not to answer me, call me and even read my messages .
March 2018, I started to live like a loser, I begged for him to come back and lower my self-esteem, self-love(I couldn’t remember the last time that I had it). I went to gym less, ate more junk food, went to bed at 3 a.m., drank lots of alcohol, took some medicine that helped me to sleep better and ruined my work-life. Okey guys, calm down, everything is about to change, please follow me to the next chapter!!
April 2018, I met someone ! He studied psychology in the same university as mine. I wonder where have he been !! He started to teach me about financial stuffs, gave me many knowledgeable sources and cheering me up when I was feeling down. You know what I could tell myself to love him at that time but after I have read lots of books, followed lots of good advice how to love myself, learned to let go of the past I found one desire that I need !
I wanted to be single, I wanted to be completed by myself, I don’t need anyone to fulfill my need and my happiness. I listened to one of the video clips from Gary Vee’s YouTube channel, he told the kids to close your eyes until you are 29, I think I wanted to adapted this quote to my life.
This time, I am going to love myself, making my goals become reality, changing mindset and be successful before I turn 29.
May 2018, I started reading books about self-development and investing every single day. I found my new friend who is an expert in digital marketing, I started to hang out with her and we started to meet up with each other a lot since then.
June 2018, I started to reading books about real estate and I got the new job in the international real estate company in Bangkok. I met a lot of businessmen and businesswomen, I always listen to their advice whenever I got a chance to meet them.
September 2018, I started my online businesses on Facebook, I was selling fashion bags and fashion clothes.
November 2018,
I had opened accounts to invest in ETF and index funds,
I am on the road to finish reading 2 books per week,
I started to write my journal in Medium and about to build my own blog and website,
I am currently choosing e-commerce platform for my drop-shipping store.
IG page and Website for my online businesses are about to land in the next few months.
So, my next goals are to buy 2 real estates and travel the world with my mom.
As you can see, right now the only thing that I aim for is to be successful.
I can guarantee you that when you finally get yourself back from hell, you know how was it feel being in the dark, you already know how pain taught you to grow and to learn from every mistakes, you will gradually love yourself because no one wants to fail at the same place twice, everyone wants own place in society, they want to have self-worth.
L O V E Y O U R S E L F , F I R S T.
Love yourself first,
Improve yourself,
Invest in yourself,
Take ownership in everything in your life (works, businesses, health, mistakes, successes)
One day when you finally say you have made it, someone who know your true value will come into your life, to support you, to grow old with you and to be successful along the journey with you.
