Coffee With A Dying Coach
The story behind the surprising #1 New Release on Amazon these holidays, about a dying coach & his final message.
Quotes from legendary coaches like Vince Lombardi are not often about technique. Life lessons ooze out of every word, because sport gives us the opportunity to teach character as well as the craft. Lombardi isn’t alone either — think of the greatest coach or teacher you’ve had: what was the most important lesson they passed on?
If you’re like most people, it’s something like “it doesn’t take talent to hustle”, or “persistence pays off”, or just “be yourself.” That’s because the teachers who really touch us, and change our lives, are the ones who teach us more than just the curriculum, or the skills, or the tricks. They teach us about life, and about character.
Dean Bailey, or ‘Bails’ as everyone knew him, was widely regarded as one of those coaches. Not only was he a former head coach of Melbourne, he’d been a player at one of the powerhouse teams of the 80’s, and a coach at two separate premiership teams in modern times.
He was respected by the legends in his industry. “I recruited him to Essendon and he was a very tough, reliable player,” the record-setting Kevin Sheedy said. “Dean was a great football person who had a dry sense of humor and a very sharp mind.”
The way his players would talk about him was testament to his impact on their lives, too. “He really cared about us,” said enigmatic forward and now captain of the last team Bails coached, Taylor Walker, “and I’ll always remember the things he taught me, both about football but even more as a person.”
If you could bottle what Bails had, it would be the most popular sports drink on the planet.
I was lucky enough to work side by side with Bails, a relationship first forged during our time living together as we transitioned to a new team in 2011. But when Bails was diagnosed with cancer on the eve of the pre-season a few years later, we were driven to tackle one final challenge together in his hospital room — building a game-plan for life, learning and leadership.
Working around my schedule back at the training & his radiology appointments, we would meet once a week by his bed. Infused with caffeine and cakes, sandwiched in between bouts of chemotherapy and coughing fits, we freestyled about everything from football to family, from strategy to synergy, from performance to people.
The resulting book, Breakfast with Bails, is a ‘warts and all’ true story of a man committed to making others great, even in his final days. It was a rare gift to step inside this famous coach’s hospital room, take a seat beside his bed, and listen deeply as he tapped into the life lessons that sport can give to us all. The chats we had over coffee as he battled cancer were priceless — which is my theory on why the book has proven so unexpectedly popular for a first-time author, reaching #1 New Release status on Amazon before it’s even out.
It probably doesn’t hurt the book’s sales that all proceeds are going to supporting the wife and two sons he left behind — everyone loves to support a great cause. But I’ve been both surprised and blown away by the support from the best in the industry.
Award-winning authors are already singing it’s praise before it has been released: Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, has likened it to the classic Tuesday’s With Morrie. And he’s not alone. “Breakfast With Bails is an inspiring story,” bestselling author Jon Gordon enthused, “that will change the way you live your life.”
I guess the story reflects the man.
Like any good game-plan, there’s something in Bails’ story for everyone who wants to be part of it. For the sports lover, the book features behind the scenes true stories from a coach’s time at the top of his game, with never before heard details of some controversial incidents as well as surprising anecdotes on making players better.
But for those more interested life outside the lines, the story is infused with practical insights and life changing lessons. That was where the gold was for Bails — teaching people about more than just football. I felt it first hand: sitting with Bails had a huge impact on my life.
My hope is that Breakfast With Bails will inspire people who are like the great character at the center of the book — the givers who put people first in a competitive world — to be better coaches, leaders, managers, teachers, or mentors in any field, at any level.
Because Lombardi was right when he said, “The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”
Bails would measure up with the best — he had so little left to give with only months to live, but he gave it all.
His cup was empty by the end. Mine was full.
