Embrace the Space

Out of the five New Years Resolutions I made this year, one of them was to embrace the space. Honestly, the more I say it, the more I think it could work as a hashtag. #embracethespace. I like it.

Anyway.

In Amy Poehler’s amazing, amazing book, Yes Please, she writes that, as women, we have an innate desire to solve problems, even if they are not ours to solve. When I found myself reading these words late last week after a particularly bad argument with a friend, I realized the deep truth in those words.

In 2015, I got closer to a lot of people in new ways. I got into disagreements with people I had never really fought with before, and it definitely taught me a lot about myself. I was also forced to confront a lot of my own mistakes, and I realized that I too have an instinct to fix everything, whether the problem is mine to fix or not, whether it can even be fixed or not.

At one point last year, I got into a particularly bad fight with a friend. To most of my friends and my mother, it seemed that my friend was at fault. All of them advised me to let it go. “It isn’t your problem anymore. Don’t waste your time and energy.” I followed their advice for a good twenty-four hours before realizing that I couldn’t just let it be.

Recently, I got into another misunderstanding with a close friend. “Give yourself some space,” my mom said. “Give him some space.”

I don’t know if it’s because I care too much, but giving someone “space” has always been far harder for me than outright confrontation. I simply can’t back away. Sometimes, it works out, and the problem solves itself because I go in and fix it. But sometimes, it just makes things worse.

Which is where #embracethespace comes in.

2016 is a huge year for me. It will be filled with many highs and lows as I graduate high school and move on to college. And because of that, I want to spend time and energy on things and people who are really worth spending time and energy on. And in order to do that, I need to back off a little bit.

I need to differentiate between what is worth saving and what isn’t. I need to focus my energy on solving problems that actually need to be solved. I need to devote less time to external things. I need to accept that sometimes, things fall apart, and sometimes, it isn’t my job to salvage them.

And I really need to #embracethespace.