Marriage: A Legal Nightmare or Sanctified Union
Marriage: A Legal Nightmare or Sanctified Union
Mark Davis MD
Marriage has become a farce for a generation of men and women who have viewed the dystopian side of this union. Contemporary marriages barely last decade when they imploded for an array of reasons. Both partners enter the union with great expectations. Love sanctified by a ring and a certificate soon dissolves when bliss turns to hostility and vengeance. Reasons for marriage have slipped away into history as technology and social mores presented other means to satisfy physical and mental cravings. Reinforced by a legal system that trashes men when they are on the cusp of divorce, the march down the aisle is looked upon as a jail sentence. By the tens of millions cohabitation or living single for the sexes is much preferred than losing freedoms innate to those who remain unlinked.
Women complain there are not enough eligible men to marry. These are code words meaning there are not enough fools out there who will lay down ten to twenty thousand dollars for a diamond ring, overspend for a wedding, be responsible for a ½ million-dollar mortgage or want to be a caged animal. In the alternative women have many outlets to become financially independent and do not require a male to support them. They have seen the ugliness of divorce through their friends’ eyes and want no part of it. The knight in shining armor promised by their moms and story books never appeared. What these women do see are alcoholic men who cannot hold jobs with abusive behaviors. These words and many more indicate the luster of marriage has faded, replaced by a reality that calls to them to be single. Marriage rates are at the lowest level in 100 years and sliding further into oblivion. The aversion to marriage started decades ago peaking with the Millennial generation. Marriage is not an endpoint or an achievement. Instead it is looked upon as a consideration in an array of options open to those who found that love is fleeting but court orders last for a life time.
Family structures have become enigmatic. In the 2nd decade of the 21st century households contain children from several marriages. Mothers of these children are spending more time chasing former partners for support than raising them. Men who miss child support payments or alimony are considered criminals whose names are splashed across the media. The unmarried see this with disgust and envision a time this could be one of them. Therefore, they run from an institution that imprisoned their fathers and stifled their mothers’ careers. The 1950s version of the family portrayed in the media died a cruel death as multiple marriages became fashionable.
College was once a place a woman could earn her Mrs. along with BA. Compatible mates were plentiful and willing. As time moved into the future both tradition and education were corrupted. Women began majoring in gender studies, Scandinavian culture or psychology, which may be noble fields, yet were ridiculous choices for job training. When women sought jobs the employer would state “you majored in what.” Point being unable to find work women have decided to stay in their parents’ homes longer, cohabit with other women or waste money on graduate school. The marriage option moved to the bottom of the list for this crop of career minded women. They do not see the mommy track as appealing. Perhaps when they move into their thirties biologic clocks will be the determining factor to get hitched. Mass media has told women you can have a wonderful life without a partner. The truth is most will not die spinsters, but will have had many husbands.
In the last several decades massive numbers of men have been called sexual predators, deviants, child molesters, harassers and any name that will display their worthlessness by former lovers. The weekly parade of celebrity women accusing men of harassment or who have forced sex on them is nothing less than remarkable. Looking for a quick million or two their crocodile tears evaporate as they quietly settle claims with deep pocketed individuals. The recent travesty seen in the Senate to confirm a Supreme Court Justice exemplifies the depths to which women will go to hurt another human being. An entire book can be written displaying hundreds of wealthy men who have been set upon by women to erase their reputations and obtain vast amounts of money. A few emotional moments from a woman giving testimony and the man’s reputation along with his bank account vanish. Courts of law nearly always fall on the side of the woman even when she is at fault in a relationship.
Divorce courts turn men into criminals. In most cases these courts also side with the female, similar to the harassment suits. Men are stripped of their wealth, dignity, property and if children are involved they are given limited visitation. Across all spectrums of economic strata the male is dead meat in divorce court. Men have committed suicide after being soaked in one of these politically correct courts. One more reason men are reticent to walk down the aisle.
Millions of single mothers are looking for someone to bear the financial and emotional burdens of children they had with another sperm donor. Most men do not want to take on this responsibility nor do they desire to interact with a woman’s former mistake, meaning her prior lover. In this case marriage in not in the proverbial cards and men with any intelligence will move on. Imagine for one moment you are forced to pay for the college education of someone else’s child, then a wedding for that child. Magically the former sperm donor shows up, after not seeing his daughter for several years, to give away the step-daughter you raised from infancy. This overpriced catastrophe is being paid for from your ATM. Immediately you are relegated to a second position at this affair. Then reality hits you, “I have been used.” The cold water has been thrown in your face, next step cancel all the checks to the venders. Then hand the bills to daddy number one. Believe it or not this scenario happens more than the average person can conceive.
The many brush strokes of marriage I have painted are more incidental to the last 50 years. Traditional marriage has been raped by feminists whose destructive vocalizations have led women away from a solid institution into an oblivion of loneliness, financial instability and even early death. Ironically some feminists who shouted the loudest found their way back into the institution they hated most. The fact is marriage is moving into obsolescence. Women may control sex yet men control marriage. The current culture displays men have wised up. They can have companionship without the 800-pound backpack. When marriage works, it works well. Failure finds its way into 50% of marriages which is a bonanza for lawyers, the courts and the marriage predators. Children sadly are pawns in these breakups. They are victims of events they had no control over. These are the people who need to be protected the most.
In the future, clearly written marital contracts, will spell out the obligations of each member of the potential union. Those who head to the alter presently have an amorphous idea what is expected of them. With a contract, marriage will become less of a legal nightmare and possibly reestablish its sanctification. Best advice is never jump into a union without reviewing its potential ramifications. Sounds impossible, yet it isn’t.