Thank you for your beautiful post, Selena. I’ve had to deal with retooling my relationship with food, too, and so appreciate your being open about this.
You might be interested in a new book, “What Went Right,” by Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D., and Eileen Bailey (Hazelden Publishing). It’s focused on building self-esteem by “rewiring” your brain, which it sounds like you’re already working on. Very friendly and readable book.