Romantic Love is overrated.

If all relationships started off like La La Land, then Taylor Swift would probably be a shit Sia by now.

Praveen Chandimal
4 min readMar 29, 2018

I know it feels good when the lights and all the right bright stars shine at you, but it’s probably not destiny.

Emotional attachment to each other became a ‘thing’ with the help of human evolution. It did take hundreds of years but that emotional attachment is now what we call ‘love’ and we love it, we dance our physical and mental selves around it, and we sing about it, and we weep because of it.

and some write really cringe-y songs about it. and one guy of course, created Tinder.

There’s a surprising list of reasons one might say as to why someone falls in love with someone else. From having the ‘right smell’ to having a parent whom you might get along with, the reasons can get pretty weird. But who knows? Deep down, maybe it’s just the need to get closer to a certain identity you like or adore. Whatever the reason that is, infatuation is the real deal you gotta be wary about.

Infatuation basically makes people think that they are in love but when actually it is just a deep lust or like for another human being. When you’re single, up at 3am, writing about weird shit like why Romance is Overrated, huge sacks of love, admiration and affection floats around you just waiting to be grabbed by the balls. The margin of error which you can fuck your whole life up, is pretty thin. and trust me, it sucks. it will suck the life and purpose out of you like Dani Daniels in the middle of a threesome.

Although we have been given a lot of examples of Romantic Love fucking shit up *cough* Taj Mahal *cough* our cultures and the societies have done a fantastic job at making them look like some awesome gloryhole free for anyone to try. and of course, we tend to take the word of our faithful. As time goes on, with the increasing number of attempts at that gloryhole, you eventually come to realize that you’ve gotten gonorrhea or syphilis or some shit like that. and that’s when you finally think maybe human relationships and marriage and all that shit should’ve just been about survival and baby making.

But the truth is, we all see and very happily buy Romantic Love. The Music Videos, Movies and ads and the real life lovey dovey couple next door, they all swiftly showoff what Romantic Love is. What we do not buy is maturity. That is to be precise, the level of intellectual maturity you process. No, it’s not leading by example and guiding your partner throughout the shit that life throws at you. It’s basically the ability to just listen to your partner rant about the rude little thing their best friend did to them for 45 fucking minutes while you’re just passionately yearning for a good ol’ shit.

It’s the ability to think fresh, think new and execute shit you’ve never thought of doing in your sad closeted up life. It’s about planning a birthday surprise even if you’re a birthday hating grumpy fuck with actual common sense. It’s effort and attention to detail. Think like Apple for a second… when Steve was still alive, of course.

It’s fine to fall in love with anyone. It’s okay to fall in love with someone who doesn’t like you. Someone who’d even write songs about you after breaking up. Even of course, Taylor Swift… though her music is absolute shit. (Wait holy shit, that rhymes!) My point is, do not let it distract you or take you away from what matters. Don’t love the idea of loving your partner. Love your partner, even if they’re a Taylor Swift fan or not.

Just don’t pretend. Don’t be afraid to see something wrong in your partner. Love them for who they are. Embrace change. You don’t always have to end up making tiny you’s, just because you’re in love with that person.

Although a bed of roses smells nice and would probably feel nicer, it’s not always a bed of roses. It’s not always what you see on TV. But don’t get me wrong, Romantic Love is overrated but it is out there somewhere. For you, for me and anyone who wants to put effort, bridge comfort and not become a ironic fucking idiot who’d take their own life in the name of Romantic Love.

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Praveen Chandimal

Home is all calm and cool until you stop and let you heart run.