Grieving my first dog. Part 1 — Meeting our little love

Max Shuster
Nov 3 · 6 min read

A few years ago we fostered and then fospiced Angel, a petite senior Keeshond. She was a little heartbeat in our house. I was taking a year off and Angel needed a lot of care. We were inseparable.

Losing Angel was difficult. I wrote a long 3 part goodbye about her. But it wasn’t as hard as it could have been. Angel came to us pretty close to the expiration date. From day one we knew we wouldn’t have a lot of time with her. Plus, we still had Luna, our other dog. Our main dog.

When Angel past we grieved—I was heartbroken. But we were grateful for the time we had with her and we still had Luna to take care of. Luna, the long suffering benefactor of our affections, hugs, kisses, car rides, chin scratches, refusals to give extra cookies and oh so much more.

We took lessons from Angel’s passing: so this is what it’s like to have an old dog, so this is what it’s like to lose a beloved friend. Now we know what it will be like when Luna gets old. Good thing we have years and years left with her.

Those years flew by and last week we had to say goodbye to Luna, the love of our lives. Losing Luna is not so much difficult as devastating.


We should get a dog

We moved to the Bay Area in our late twenties so my wife could go to law school. By then we had both been working for a few years, we’d rented a few apartments together, been on a few big trips together. In short, we thought we had our adult lives down.

My wife had always wanted a dog. As kids we had parakeets and a guinea pig respectively but neither one of us had had a dog. My wife was ready to grab the first pup from the shelter but I wasn’t up for that. To be honest I was probably a little uncomfortable around dogs.

So instead I started looking into different breeds to see what would be the easiest dog to take care of……

PAUSE

I was an idiot. Breed doesn’t matter, all dogs are a gift and I was dumb dumb dumb. But that was then.

UNPAUSE

As it turns out I had an affinity for spitz type dogs. We discovered this thing called a Keeshond. Beautiful fluffy pups that looks like Samoyeds, Huskies and Poms, amazing temperament, good energy, good size. I was in.

We started talking to our local Keeshond rescue and in 6 months they had a dog that we should meet.

Rescued from a puppy mill

Luna—along with two other dogs—was rescued from a chicken coop somewhere in Northern California. She was a momma dog in a puppy mill.

Her fur was matted, she was overweight, she had ear infections and heart-worms. This poor dog was abused and ripped away from her litters over and over and over.

After the rescue Luna spent 9 months recovering with a foster family. What a change for her! She now had these wonderful people who cared for her, taught her manners, and had the unenviable task of keeping her calm with minimal movement for months while they administered treatment for heart-worms.

One day the rescue contacted us and told us they had an “easy keeper” for us. We went to meet Luna at her foster home.

Can we take the other one?

We had 6 months to get ready for a dog. We watched all the training videos, read all the articles on bringing a dog into the house, bought toys, dog beds, food and researched vets.

We pulled up to the foster home excited, a little scared, pockets filled with treats. The front door was our first pup commotion: paws shuffling, dog tags jingling, and some seriously scary barking.

There was Bradley, a beautiful Keeshond boy who wanted nothing more than to run out of the house and greet us. Maybe pee on us a little. There was Coco, a chocolate lab who was really hoping we had a ball. And behind them there was Luna, the one doing all the barking.

The dogs and the humans all proceeded to the back yard. We learned from all the videos that it was important not to spook the dog. So we made no eye contact and did not attempt to pet Luna or interact with her in any way. Well except to give her a treat every time she came near us.

Meanwhile we were playing with Coco and giving Bradley hugs and kisses.

Halfway through our visit my wife made a joke howl. Luna got excited and let out a real howl. That was the first and last time she did that and it warms my heart to think about that moment. At the end of the visit Luna came and stood near me, presumably to beg for treats. I broke the rules and leaned in to engage with her. She gave me a little kiss.

Left, Luna got brave enough to give kisses. Right, Luna keeping out of arm’s reach while I hug Bradley.

There were several more visits to the foster family so we could get to know Luna and she could get to know us. Every visit we would play with Bradley and Coco, and pretty much ignore Luna. When we tried to engage her she’d back up and keep just out of arm’s reach. She was interested but still unsure.

At one point, half joking we thought that maybe we could adopt Bradley instead. Completely ignoring that fact that this is a family, not a shelter. That Bradley is their dog and not a foster.

Gotcha day

On July 31, 2011 we finally brought Luna home.

Driving from the foster’s place to our place we were reacting to Luna’s every breath, every shift. We now had this ball of fur in the car that we were utterly and completely responsible for.

https://youtu.be/24OHT_mNjek

Max Shuster

Written by

I'm a graphic designer so I love clean layouts, clever negative space in logos and my bi-polar dog.

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