A Pessimistic Optimism.

So, I have this real time fixation or obsession, with this fellow human who doesn’t even know I exist. Actually no, he does know that I exist (virtually) but he wasn’t aware of the fact that I was on the verge of retardation when ever he talked to me.

And one fine day I decided to tell him that I was crazy about him . . I mean I didn’t know what to do either way, (P.S. this guys isn’t even in the same city I live in.)*

Yes I did tell him. https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=2mJf0_hXkCg *suits me*

I have zero idea why am I so obsessed with this human, 
I literally am on his wall the whole day staring at his face, No he isnt that hot (yeah exactly, I do not know what’s happening to me) But looks never mattered anyways but but but, I haven’t even had a proper conversation with this human because when ever I tried to talk to him my brain would just stops responding, like the internet explorer and its like I am staring at the message (hey)* and that Loader sign shows up in front of my eyes and in a few seconds even the loader would hang on me. (Struggle is real) That is when I would blurt of something lame and sulk for the rest of the day.

Oh god why is this so hard!
But it ain’t that bad, I’m just over thinking as I always do.

This period is nice, I mean you have these butterfly in your stomach and freaking loosing your shit over someone. 
It had been a while.

I still wonder what happened, why I do like him on the first place.
I might just endup heartbroken for all I know, which is like the constant state of me but yeah,
It’s nice LOL

Iamjustaselfdeprecatingoptimist.

Ps. I am putting this up 'cause I know he ain’t gonna bump into this. EVER. 
No, me don’t exist.

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