Emma, I am sorry that you have had unwanted attention or affection. It could be uncomfortable to have affection from an unwanted source, but I do think that you may have painted with to large a brush and imputing thoughts to others. I will stipulate that some males and females do think the way you say, but I also weep for those who do not. Those are probably the ones that never come up on your radar screen.
It may be that guy who finally gets the courage just to say hi to you and you, perhaps politely, blow him off — DOES NOT THINK “Bitch should have taken it” but rather just thought exactly as you implied girls think “I’m not hot enough. Not a Ryan Gosling.” Or maybe it is the girl who quietly goes up to a guy she thinks is cute, but when he ‘turns her down’ gets the “how dare he turn me down! I’m hotter than he can get”.
Just perhaps, it is not the guy who has no fashion sense, but perhaps it really is: why bother? I am not hot enough…..or perhaps they just can’t afford it.