On Wanting to Change the World

It was one of those mornings at school, when you’re a kid, that all you want is for time to pass by quickly so you can go home and catch the ending of another Dragon Ball Z episode. A regular morning, Portuguese after Math after History — if it wasn’t for the fact that my little mind of a 10 years old decided on such morning that I wouldn’t celebrate New Year with my family anymore after Aunt Beatrice, in a Geography class, taught us how the world was divided into timezones. The realization that while people were here in my country screaming and shouting felicitations to one another at the deafening sound of fireworks because a year was changing, while on the other side of the world people were already living their oh so new lives of a new year with promises of happiness and joy was a real shock to me. One could question how nihilistic was I as a child, but I suddenly felt like I didn’t have an actual reason to celebrate the relativity of time as if it almost didn’t exist to me anymore, it all seemed extremely fugacious and only a matter of giving time a new number in our Gregorian calendar. It was also around this point in my life that I got into quantum physics, which makes a lot of sense now that I’m recollecting these childhood events.

Now, as a college student (and still a hardcore anime nerd, counting hours for episodes during classes and all), I’m still not celebrating New Year, but I am, undoubtedly, more vulnerable to the expectations that this simple change of 23:59 of year X to 00:00 of year Y could actually mean some real changes of my cold harsh real daily life. I can say for sure, the fact that I keep getting more and more conscious of my role as a social being living on this world makes me want to believe, as a new year begins, that it could mean some transitions in humanity’s history, for the better, can happen. Rather I change myself and that reflects on the world, or I contribute to better days for as much people I can and that reflects on me, I couldn’t know for sure — if I didn’t make any plans. Call me a young girl lost in youthful dreams, maybe I am indeed a born revolutionary, considerably naive, but I still want to believe I can do something to transform the status quo we live in, and to make that my New Year’s resolution.

So, as much as life keeps getting harder and with it goes the strong faith on the capability of human beings to be as empathic as we can be, within this nihilistic-revolutionary heart of mine lives this loving feeling of wanting to do something that will add to all the good causes I believe in. With this new year, comes with me and into me the willingness to give without getting anything in return, because that’s what most of us really don’t understand about doing something for the world — it probably won’t give us anything in return although we still keep on waiting for it. There’s no point in it after all. You don’t love people and you don’t love yourself because you need something as an exchange for it. Truthful love goes deeper than this when we allow each other to be our true compassionate selves. It is what makes the world a more bearable place anyway, so we do it, we love because that’s what we are most capable of.

To give love and to make as many lives as I can better. To help children, to know there are so many of them in extreme need of the basics for a dignified life. To help teenagers and young adults like me realize there’s much more to life than the harms youth can bring us. To use my privilege as a Law student and take politics to the masses and make it accessible and understandable for those around me that are not into it. To talk and actually listen to the elders more and to value them for the priceless teachings they can give us. To tell all the women around me that they’re beautiful and that everything’s going to be ok. To take care of myself and to become fully aware that I am part of a community and at the same time I am my own unique self, and to let it show — let it shine and let it know that I can do better. The world, the time with its new years and new promises of joy and happiness expect us to do better. And if celebrating a new year in fact means something to me, that is pretty much it — that I have to keep on trying to do my best.