Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

3 Things I Learned In My Marriage

Polina Solda
Sep 3, 2018 · 3 min read

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin

My clients often ask me about what makes a relationship work, so I decided to share 3 things I have learned in my own marriage (my husband and I have been together for 9 years now):

1. A relationship is either growing or dying

it does not stay the same. By making our relationship our top priority, it grows consistently, e.g., we spend time together (like going out on dates, getaways and simply making time to sit down and talk) and we share passions, like skiing/snowboarding, rollerblading, dancing and boating. When I asked my husband about the top things he appreciates about me (by the way, it’s a great question to ask your man as a way to remind him how awesome you’re — but don’t forget to reciprocate!), one of his answers was, “Your devotion to growing our relationship.”

“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” — Jennifer Smith

2. A growing relationship always has the element of mystery and discovery.

Just like in dating, when you leave a man wanting more, the same applies in a relationship. Do not become an “open book.” Keep your own interests, a circle of close girlfriends and make time for yourself. My husband and I continue to surprise each other with aspects of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. For example, he caught me by surprise recently when he called to invite me for a special lunch, even though he has work that accumulated during our recent getaway.

“Love is the greatest gift when given. It is the highest honor when received.” — Fawn Weaver

3. Keep alive an attitude of gratitude.

The foundation for growing a relationship is based on deep gratitude and appreciation for your partner. You can’t be upset, angry and resentful at him and, at the same time, feel gratitude for his being in your life. I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for years and write down what I am grateful for about my husband every day. Sometimes the gratitude I feel for him is so deep that it brings me to tears.

I constantly see couples who don’t realize these 3 simple yet powerful principles that can make or break a relationship.

As you date and get into a committed relationship with the right man, keep these 3 keys in mind so that you can enjoy the kind of relationship you want for a long time, maybe even a lifetime!

Want To Get A Free Book Revealing The Best-Kept Secrets About Finding and Keeping Love?

Right now, I’m giving away a free copy of my book. It will give a step-by-step, easy-to-follow process and will inspire you to meet your dream man.
Click here to get it now

Want to receive hot dating tips & love advice?Send me a text to 28748 with a keyword: FINDLOVENOW

Polina Solda

Written by

Wife, mom, love mentor extraordinaire. 2 Masters’ degrees + unofficial “PhD in dating”. 12,000+ get my weekly advice at findloveandkeepit.com

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade