President Rewrites Pilgrim Story, Says First Settlers Were Named “Drumpf”
Allan Ishac

As someone whose ancestors actually did come in on the Mayflower, I will give thanks for the fact that the pilgrims did not touch down on this continent at a place where they’d have run into the Sioux, or some other warrior tribe. They’d have been slaughtered outright, just as surely as those warrior tribes were slaughtering each other regularly. I also give thanks that we no longer have a president who’d get caught on a ‘hot mic’ saying to Putin’s right hand man “I’ll have more flexibility after the election”. Well, more flexibility about exactly what? Liberals didn’t bat a lash at this, of course, and now they talk of impeachment because someone, somewhere, who was involved in last year’s election, sat with a Russian, or, horror of horrors, maybe two Russians. Breathtakingly stupid. All indictments that have come down or will come down are designed only to trick the dumbest among us into thinking some nefarious thing has happened. Tens of millions of us know way, way better, and President Trump will handily win reelection. Perhaps this president ought to call for a reopening of the investigation into Benghazi, Libya. Or exactly what that plutonium deal was about. Or maybe investigate the Clinton Foundation top to bottom. And, just so we’re clear, there’s no statute of limitations on murder. Foster, Brown, McDougal, et al, et al, et al.

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