Letter to the Department of Transport

Dear Mr Mullighan & the Department of Transport,

I have recently come across some interesting news. Port Adelaide FC has received $50,000 in compensation for a 40 minute delay in train services prior to the game against the Bulldogs (even though they didn’t suffer any loss). This is news to my ears. I didn’t understand that the government refunded money for poor service from the transport division.

Therefore, I have included some incidences that I require some compensation for:

· 23rd March — The bus was 25 minutes late. I’m not sure what the minimum delay is, but I missed the first quarter of the Crows game (and pre-match entertainment). Is that worth $50k or just the cost of my ticket or taxes I pay towards state transport?

· 4th April — I had lost faith in the bus so decided to get the train. The Seaford line wasn’t working (1 hour delay), so I was an hour late for work. I require compensation for the trip as well as the hour of work I missed, as my employer obviously wouldn’t pay me.

· 4th April (evening) — I should have expected it given the events of the morning, but the train was again delayed an hour in the evening as well. This meant I was late home to the kids and wife. As such, my wife decided she would head out with ‘the girls’ that weekend and I had to pay for it. Can you please compensate me for the ticket, as well as the $1,450 my wife spent that night (she knew I was paying so shouted the girl’s dinner).

· 3rd May — I decided to go back to the bus after I lost faith in the train. It was 24 mins late (a slight improvement on the March incident, well done). This meant I could have slept in for another 24 minutes, if you had notified me. I value my sleeping time very highly at $300 per hour, so I believe you owe me $120, plus the value of the ticket. Lucky for you, the delay meant my trip was during a non-peak hour, so you owe me less for the ticket.

If you could forward the money to my address in the form of the cheque (I know the govt still operates with pre-millennium technology) ASAP that would be great. I do realise that the network requires some maintenance, so if you would like to spend the money you owe me repairing the network, go ahead. However, I do look forward to seeing the $50k that Port received spent on some spectacular fireworks. It’ll be great to see $50k go up in smoke.

Yours sincerely,

Surprisingly happy SA citizen (Show me the money!!!!)

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