How talking about work always can set you back in enjoying life normally.
It's almost been two years for our marriage. Before I came into my spouse's life we didn't know each other. I'm pretty much a laid back person and I sometimes talk about my work and sometimes dont. After marrying my spouse, everyday or so for two years theres been constant venting about his workplace and how he feels about projects and deadlines and clients.
- At time’s he leave’s early in the morning around 7am to start work on his project’s and get emails out. He will come home around 7:30pm and sometimes 8pm or sometime’s 9pm. When he comes home he’s usually so mentally drained and tired. He’s hard working, and feels the company runs on him since hes a senior for many years in that company. Of course his hard work got him to a position he deserved. He LOVES what he does, and he enjoys the work. But sometimes doing so much of something can really burn you out, which is why the constant venting of the company tactics, project's, deadlines and colleagues. Do I ever get to spend much time with him after work? Maybe, and maybe not. I've learnt to come to peace at this. I love him so I must accept how hard he's working and it’s ok.
- Sometimes he's too tired to even talk to me and would fall asleep. I never get asked how my day was and if I did anything new for my own business. But its ok.
- I feel like I've become a career therapist, or just a therapist from the start of our relationship, through marriage. I'm always telling him everything will be ok or just listening to how he's pressured at work. But it's ok.
- At times I clam up, or curl into a ball deep inside. After listening to his “eventful” day’s at work — what could I possibly even talk about my day? My struggles? Probably not because by the time it comes to me, I’m mentally drained and prefer not to share what I did for the day, even if I have had work or orders or had lots of sales. Does he really care? But its OK.
- We argue every now and then, he can use terms like give me feedback or you havent communicated with me properly about something. He even applies work methods at home, I wish he could just leave work at work, but its ok.
- I have less patience now, because now our weekend's seem to have been taken away as he is busy trying to make everyone happy in his own family. Im often remarked with certain things from his family. But it's ok.
- I feel like hiding when he tries to come to me and telling me let's go out. Because I don't want to socialise with anyone, and I have felt shut out a while back from him. But it's ok.
- I often mitigate my stress if he tries to talk to me, by keeping myself busy in another activity, often not able to look into my partners eyes the way I was able to. But its ok.
Today I feel I want to shut out the ones I love. Today I feel helpless because I cannot understand my partner and unable to communicate with him. Today I am often made guilty by his family if I try to contact him during work hours to find out where he is, I care but maybe I should stop and care about my health since my feelings are dying. But Im holding on, and hoping he realise’s how talking about work can put things under distress in his personal life.
Im hoping we can all achieve a better relationship by leaving work thoughts at work and coming home to genuinly spend time with your loved ones. If you fall down or fall sick, your loved ones are going to lend you a helping hand and NOT your workplace!
I work really hard as Im self employed, but Im a one man band. I do pretty much everything myself for my business, from conceptual research to production to finishing to marketing and to selling. But I have strict timings and I work from 9am to 4pm. I dont want to burn out and I want to forget and spend time with the ones I love.