I Was Sexually Abused

but it became the source of my power.

I was adorable. Long reddish brown hair, green eyes, chubby cheeks.

I was 4. We lived in North Carolina in the 1980s in a small 2-bedroom house, but the backyard felt like I was roaming the forests of Endor. It was huge, with lots of trees and places to hide. Once, I was quite certain ET was hiding in the garden alongside the house. (The slippery bastard was never found)

That was the year my brother was born. He was what they called a fussy baby, and needed a great deal of my mother’s time and energy. I was sent to my great-aunt’s during the summer, to give her a break. (One memory- her screaming at me to go outside and never come back in. I sat on the back porch from lunch till dinner, trying to figure out where I would sleep, go to the bathroom, watch tv... When she opened the door to call me eat, I told her she said to never come back in. We both cried.) I can understand what she was going through, especially after my brother’s late in life diagnosis of autism. It must have been incredibly difficult for her, especially without the support systems and knowledge we have today.

It was decided that my great aunt would be just the place for me, since she was in the best health, liked me a great deal and she had plenty of room. My 13-year-old cousin was also living with…