The Unexpected Journey: My Pregnancy Story
Hi everyone, I’m Poonam Handoo, a 35-year-old woman blessed with a delightful 3-year-old princess. Now, I know the title of this post might throw you off a bit since I’m already a mother, but bear with me — this tale is about my second pregnancy that took an unexpected turn.
Before we jump into the juicy details, let me tell you a bit about myself. I’ve been slogging in the digital sector for a decade now. I’ve been happily married for 6 years to the guy I dated for 10 years. Life’s been pretty peachy. I’m generally a lively person and love spending time with my kid. That’s the short version of my life story since I haven’t done anything wildly impressive yet.
With my daughter getting more independent and my ovaries not getting any younger, we decided it was time for a second child. Just as we were mulling over the decision, the universe decided to play a prank on us. One fine morning, after missing my period, I casually took a pregnancy test and — surprise! — it was positive. This wasn’t part of the plan at all, especially since I was swamped with work and changes all around me.
For most parents with one bubbly kid, an unexpected pregnancy is happy news. But not for me. I was already tangled in a corporate mess with a promotion just 6 months old, and I still had to prove myself in my new role. A sudden pregnancy? No, thank you.
The next day, we saw the doctor for confirmation. On our way back, Dipanshu headed to the sweets shop to celebrate. I suggested we wait for the first scan, but he thought I was being a killjoy and bought the sweets anyway. Looking back, I think I had a premonition about what was coming. Deep down, I wasn’t thrilled or feeling connected to this pregnancy.
Post-COVID, the IT world switched to hybrid mode. I visit the office twice a week, once on Wednesday with Dipanshu and again on Friday in the office cab.
The very next day, it was Wednesday, and we both commuted to work, chatting about how our lives would change in the coming months. I spent the entire day in a daze, eager to go home. Around 5:30 PM, Dipanshu picked me up. Even though it was just a half-hour ride, I felt like I’d run a marathon, and my lower back started protesting.
When I got home, I noticed some light spotting. Being an experienced mom, I knew this could happen in the first trimester, so I wasn’t too worried. I slept that night after dinner and woke up the next morning feeling exhausted. The spotting continued, so I messaged my doctor, who advised a scan and a visit.
By evening, the spotting had turned into bleeding, and we went for a scan. I was worried but soldiered through my last meeting, which ended at 11 PM. I took leave from work the next day since the bleeding hadn’t stopped. My doctor said the reports weren’t promising, and it might be a miscarriage. That word hit me like a ton of bricks, and I started crying. The bleeding continued, resembling the first day of my period.
Around 11 AM, we had breakfast and rushed to the hospital. I was a wreck, barely able to talk or sit. My vitals were fine, but I was having an anxiety attack. The doctor ordered an emergency scan. That was the toughest moment — everyone at home was worried and praying.
After the scan, the doctor tried to reassure me. The reports showed one positive sign: the sac size had increased since the previous scan. She prescribed rest, medicines, and a follow-up blood test to check if the HBC count was rising. I felt slightly better knowing the sac was still there.
The blood test results were good, but the bleeding persisted. I was on a cocktail of medicines and injections, but nothing seemed to stop the bleeding.
We met the doctor again on Tuesday, and she recommended another scan on Friday. I remember spotting a lump on my pad on Wednesday and taking a picture to show the doctor. It was a horrifying time.
Finally, Friday arrived. We visited the nearby gynae for an injection, who advised following the doctor’s recommendation for another scan. Reluctantly, I scheduled the scan. This time, Dipanshu and I were confident. I even asked him to join me for the heartbeat reveal.
When the doctor arrived, his usually cheery face was tense. During my first pregnancy, his positive vibes had been infectious. But now, he and his colleague couldn’t find the sac. My heart sank as he suggested an internal scan. After a couple of minutes, he delivered the blow: “Ma’am, your body can do much better. It can make a healthy baby next time. Right now, we can’t see the sac; maybe it’s gone with the blood.” I couldn’t believe it. I got up, wiped myself off, and went straight to Dipanshu. We both had been so sure everything would be fine.
After collecting our reports, we saw the doctor, who guided us on the next steps and consoled us, saying we could try again in a few months. We broke the news to our parents once we got home. It was just a 2-week pregnancy, and I still don’t know exactly when it ended.
It’s been almost 2 weeks now. I don’t know how, but I haven’t shed a single tear in front of anyone until today. This experience changed me completely. I couldn’t connect with that child, but it taught me so much in such a short time: courage, strength, power, and calmness. I’m not just emotionally changed but also in my perspective on life.
As I sit here reflecting on the past few weeks, I realize how much this experience has changed me. While it was a rollercoaster of emotions — filled with unexpected surprises, heartache, and moments of anguish— I’ve come out stronger and more resilient. Life doesn’t always go as planned, and sometimes, the most challenging moments teach us the most valuable lessons.
To anyone going through a similar journey, remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. It’s okay to laugh through the tears and find strength in the smallest victories. We are stronger than we think, and every experience, no matter how difficult, shapes us into who we are meant to be.
Thank you for reading my story. It’s not the end but just a part of my journey. I hope it brings comfort, strength, or even a chuckle to someone out there. Until next time, stay strong and keep smiling
