Secret Behind Lifelong Relationship

A few years ago, when we moved to a new house, in a new city, we were welcomed by this wonderful, friendly lady who happened to live across the street from us. We instantly connected and within just a few minutes of conversation, we felt as if we knew each other from ages.It was a great feeling to be welcomed by such a friendly soul. She was an elderly lady and the care and compassion with which she talked to us, really touched our hearts.

At one point she turned to my husband and said to him.

“You know what…from today, you are just like my son. We are not neighbors, we are family!!”

Ahhh..it was so moving!!

We both got very emotional.

We live oceans apart from our parents and the fact that someone had welcomed us with so much love..it made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!

Fast forward to 5 years…

That lady and us… We don’t talk to each other anymore.

What happened??

What went wrong??

Who was at fault??

How did it start??

If you ask me, I’ll tell you my side of the story and if we look at the same story from her point of view, she’ll have her version to tell.

So, which one of us was at fault?

The truth is, there is no way to find out.

When something goes wrong in any relationship both the parties feel that they were right and the other person was wrong.

But let me reveal whose fault was it in this particular situation.

All of us were at fault!

That’s because we rushed a bit too soon into forming a relationship.

The moment we began sensing a connection we were quick to label ourselves as ‘family’.

As a result, unrealistic expectations were set, boundaries were crossed, personal spaces were invaded and when we couldn’t live up to each other’s expectations, we drifted apart.

Even now, after all these years, when I look back at the days when we happened to be close friends with her, I feel bad for the way things had to end between us.

It could have been avoided,if only we had given each other some space and time to build a relationship.

We didn’t even give each other enough time to understand whether it was truly a deep connection or just the excitement of meeting someone for the very first time. Whether we really had anything in common or was it just an illusion?Did we actually agree with one another or were we just being polite?

The sad truth is, it’s too late to find out now.

Luckily all of us have moved on with our own lives.

But friends, in some cases, moving on might not be that easy.

Every relationship takes time to flourish.

We have to accept that we all come from different upbringings, we all have different beliefs, different priorities, different ways of thinking.

We must respect that and avoid hastily labeling any relationship.

Whether it’s husband/wife, lovers, in-laws, friends, neighbors, or even our blood relatives, forming a life long bond requires LOT of commitment, efforts, resilience, patience,respect, and participation from BOTH the parties.

In order to do this, we have to dedicate TIME.

And honestly, we can’t dedicate that kind of time to every single person that crosses our path.

If we try to please everyone we will end up being miserable ourselves.

So why not keep it simple?

Instead of rushing into any kind of conclusions why not take it slow.

Why not give each other some space and see how we go from there?

When there are no expectations there is no hurt. Is it?

The beauty of a true bond is, that it’s rarely articulated in words.

It mostly felt.

We all have experienced that kind of bond with someone at some point and we all will unanimously agree that the feeling…is priceless!!!

It takes lifelong commitment to form a lifelong bond.

And once that bond is formed… we’ll feel it.

No bells will ring, no emotional song will be played in the background, we won’t run towards each other in slow motion.Still…we’ll feel it…

There is a long bridge between instant connection and lifelong bond.

We need time to cross that bridge.

Friendships, love, attachment..these things can’t be forced. They can’t be rushed.

So let’s have patience..

Let’s not feel obligated to form a relationship with someone, just because we felt an instant connection with them. Let’s not expect that kind of bond to be formed within few minutes, few hours ,few months or even few years after meeting someone.

There is a reason it’s called a ‘lifelong bond.’

It’s gonna take time so let’s take it slow. Let’s allow it to simmer, in slow flame, let’s enjoy the fragrance and the taste of that magical bond. Only then it will leave its delicious flavor in our heart and mind.

Otherwise, all we’ll be left with is a bad after taste…


If you could relate, do share this story with your friends.

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Thank you for stopping by.. :)

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Poonam Sahasrabuddhe

Written by

Actor, Director, Writer, Dreamer. Love my family, love my life. Co-founder of Think Grand Films. Sharing stories that connect. Instagram — poonamsays.live

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