Jan 24, 2018
17 Years Before Building A Startup, I Wrote A Book Explaining How To Do It. Here’s What I Got Wrong.
I learned that getting billionaires like Mike Bloomberg to write my book forward was a lot easier than getting them to invest in my company, that being a woman is relevant for both better and worse, and that what I didn’t know when I wrote that book…could easily fill another book.
I was 22, had a book deal with a major publisher, came from a family of entrepreneurs, and had lived in a world virtually devoid of daily mass shootings, terror attacks and presidents who routinely insult their people. Naturally I thought I knew everything. So back in 1999, before anyone had ever written a book addressing the issues facing young, inexperienced entrepreneurs…I decided I was the one to do it. After all, I was Director of my campus entrepreneurs club, which was revolutionary at the time.
Well 17 years later in 2016, having lived enough to understand how little anyone really knows for sure…I decide to jettison the comforts of a stable private equity career and launch a business. In technology. With no technical experience. Alone. Because apparently logic is for suckers, and taking a chance is the spark of life.
By now I had written three more books, gotten an MBA, and spent over a decade in real estate development and finance. It wasn’t for a lack of business ideas that I waited so long to take my own advice (Convertible-high-heel-shoes? A preventative hangover cure? A new-mom-friend-dating-site, anyone?); rather it was that I believed you shouldn’t start a business you think ought to exist, you should start the business which ought to exist and for which you’re the ideal creator. I understand the WeWorks worldwide would be empty if millennials thought this way, but I’m a little bit old school, I guess. (You can learn about my company here.)
The point is that there’s a lot I didn’t know…couldn’t know…until I did it. And beyond that, the world of entrepreneurship today is vastly different that it was back in 1999. So here are a few lessons learned in the past 24 months that I truly didn’t have the luxury of time for… (And FYI the other edge of the sword of waiting to launch a startup until you have industry experience…is that you’ve also got less time on your side to learn and fail and try again. But perhaps that’s for another post.)
1. Push hard for feedback, but don’t always trust it.
Over time you realize that your time is just as valuable (and as easily squandered in useless meetings) as that of the potential investor or client you’re speaking with.
So make each appointment count by at least getting a straight answer as to why they didn’t invest/buy/love you. Understand that you may have to ask two or three times. You may have to look people very directly in the eye and convince them that you seriously want the feedback. It’s annoying extra work but you have to do it because nobody is as focused on your success as you are. You’ll learn that some people are non-confrontational, some people assume you’re gonna cry if you get critical feedback, and some other people just don’t have anything valuable to tell you. So be better than the kind of entrepreneur who will cry over a clear and reasoned ‘no,’ or at least convince them that you are. And if they don’t have any tangible feedback after that, then understand that they were never serious about you to begin with. They were wasting your time. It happens a lot. Move on. And when you do get feedback, don’t dismiss it; build a list, find the theme in the feedback, trust the theme…and act on that.
2. ABP: Always be producing, even though the target is always moving. Which makes no sense. But that’s your job now.
Your life (yes your entire life) is a constant state of recalculation now, from methods to metrics to code. The only way to keep sane is to accept that you live around three-month goals now, which MUST be broken down into daily/weekly tasks and which WILL be modified whenever something changes. Which it will. Every day. So that’s fun.
Whenever it’s frustrating just think about all the folks you left behind in corporate life, or med school (or whatever you chose not to do by becoming an entrepreneur) and remind yourself that you’re having more fun than them, overall. I promise you are. If that doesn’t work, tweet at me and I’ll send you a baby panda video to make you smile. Alternatively, make some entrepreneur friends who will do this for you. Because I’m kind of busy.
3. No one cares how you see yourself; they care how you can make them see you.
Self-confidence is great, but contrary to what your mom/life coach/best friend keeps telling you, it doesn’t always maximize your chances of getting what you want. The sooner you can start to pick up on how people absorb you, at the first impression, the smoother everything will go.
I’m not suggesting that you feel sorry for yourself if you’re judged for your height/weight/ethnicity/gender/accent/what have you; I’m proposing that you learn to read the cues in body language, in tone, in questioning…that convey whether your target is charmed/unnerved/annoyed by something you represent to their subconscious. And use that knowledge to change your tone/posture/pace/pitch.
Proving them wrong is not always as practical as convincing them wrong. Don’t care about the injustice of having to overcome their assumptions about you. Focus on overcoming them. And if you are wondering why their perception is your problem, then kindly refer back to # 2 above. Thanks.
Naturally, if I was the best at all of these things, then I wouldn’t have the time to write about them, because I’d be busy running my unicorn all the way to the bank. But hey, there’s always tomorrow. Now I gotta go find a coffee mug with an inspiring message, email 50 investors, check in with all my clients, send an email blast and have a strategy session with my CTO. And then, yoga.
Follow me, criticize me, or maybe even invest in me. Looking forward to it.
