First of all, the guy you slammed is Italian and doesn’t seem to be too good in English so check your native English privilege.
Second, however christianly backwards he is, I fail to see any hint of hate in what the discussion was about. They were discussing child gender reassignment and suicide in trans people, and he asserted that even after any surgery the suicide rate is still high.
I understand the “accept reality” bit as in “embrace the environment” if you wish — not doing that is a almost a prerequisite for a suicide, be it caused by inability to pay your bills, terminal sickness of whatever else.
He even tentatively agreed that this non-acceptance is caused by the fact that “trans people are constantly treated like shit”.
Third, if your friends get frustrated over someone being wrong on the internet, try finding other friends.
Fourth, your famous Opal github issue did not match your post-declared “I was looking for a statement from the project owners that essentially said that his opinions did not reflect those of the other maintainers or the overall project.” intention. Why would you even think that other maintainers have anything to do with Elia’s twitter rants? Did you imagine a secret Opal maintainer meeting with minutes capturing “transgender people are not delusional” as a part of the project philosophy?
Finally, whatever you’re doing is not only disruptive and divisive to the open source community as a whole (which I suspect is your actual goal) but overall hurting the transgender inclusion in the community. A lot of people will now associate transgender project involvement with trouble.