What am I doing this time?

Few nights ago I was feeling out of place again, the depressive moments where coming in to play again, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t think right thoughts, was dwelling upon all my past failures and what I should have done to redeem the wins for those moments… specifically I was thinking about my failed relationship life, I had never really had the kind of romantic relationships I see on movies and see my friends enjoy… I was always falling for those that were going to use me for their gain and not consider the pain I will feel when they are done messing me up… I had to think about what people around me perceived me to be 'too soft-hearted probably’ cause they don’t always take too long to show it.

But what if this is my uniqueness and what makes me me? What if everyone is really wrong about me? What if there’s just somebody out there who does care about how I feel and not just about what benefits they see to get from me, what if I actually matter to everyone and they all regard me and not make me feel like the invisible one in the crowd… we sometimes use our pushiness to drive people to early graves, I ones thought of ending my own life cause it’d have been much better not to be present, so they can all have the luxury of time without my interferance… in my moment of despair the flicker of hope shone so brightly on me and I was able to beat all of those thoughts and overcome them…

How did I do this?

When I’m depressed and feeling sorry for myself there are this two genuine questions I ask myself and answer them as sincerely and accurately as I can.

✓ What can I do to solve this problem that I think of?

Then I think about it thoroughly and try to note what I can really do to solve that which bothers me…

✓ What do I need to solve this problem?

If I can solve it then in what areas can I really come in to sort the issue out, then if I can’t I simply have to think of someone bigger, wiser and knows all things, and that’s God, so I turn to God in prayers and trust me immediately that peace just comes and most times after praying I end up getting the solution to the problem…

Nobody ought to be rejected, no one is to be alone, we’re unique, fashioned in the image of our maker for a particular purpose, if not until we embrace our uniqueness, we’d continuously limit our abilities and what we can amount to… I hope this little write-up inspires you for greater achievement

Love to read and write, love to talk about everything and loves researchers