Alien Invasion
There’s been an alien invasion and now there’s one inside of me
Instead of my eyes I have to look through its lenses in order to see
I feel what it feels
I do what it says
I isolate myself
I hide in my bed
This thing, this alien, this monster inside me
dulls my senses, steals my joy
gives moments of grace, but it’s all a ploy
I am not the same as I once was and I’m not sure I ever will be
This thing is now inextricably part of me
You could cut me open and extract all inside
yet, this monster has touched even the parts of my soul I tried to hide
My smiles are few now, my eyes glazed over
Sometimes sleeping and waking are one in the same
My guilt for isolation grows ever stronger, along with my shame
For this is not who I want to be, nor did I choose this
This is not who I want to be, but it is now a part of who I am
So when all I can return are half smiles that don’t reach my empty eyes
and I cancel on your for the millionth time
Please know I thought I was protecting you from my slow decay
from the ravaging of me
But instead I was fortifying the invisible prison that keeps me from being free.
Depression is a very real, often neglected state of mind and illness. Please be quick to listen and slow to speak with those around you who suffer from it. If you struggle with depression, please find small moments of things that represent hope in your day, and please find a tribe that will love you where you’re at and encourage you.
