The “other” woman…
What would you do if you discovered that their was an other woman in your relationship? What would you do if that other woman in your relationship is you? Not in the sense that anyone is being unfaithful to one another per se, but that the idea of how your significant other claims to see you is completely different than what they exclaim to you. Theirs another side of you that they secretly see and refuse to tell you about; the other woman. And just like any other woman, it can tear your relationship apart.
You’re in love. You and the person you’re with both have plans to be together til the end. You love each other wholeheartedly.
“You’re the one”
“You’re the best, their’s no one else out there for me.”
“You’re gonna be the mother to our future kids.”
“You’re amazing and I’m so lucky to have you.”
But one day, just like how any “other woman” is discovered; accidentally. You come across some form of text, whether its email, messages, etc. In my case, the text is through blog. Curiosity got the best of me, so of course I read everything in front of me and ate it all up. Like knives to the chest, each word and post I read stabs me straight to the heart. Those kind and loving words that you have been told are now leaving your system through a steady flow of salty tears. An overwhelming flood of hurt washes over my whole body and just like that-
“You do nothing for me.”
“Should we just break up?”
“You’re so draining.”
What does one do in that situation? What do you do when you discover that theirs a whole other woman in this relationship that your significant other sees, and that woman is you? He loves you. He hates you? Its not like you can confront him, the backlash of him thinking I’m snooping through his privacy would just add on to the list of qualities the other woman possesses.
At this point, I had to sit and reflect on myself and how I am in the relationship. Do I agree with what he had to say about me?
“You act like you don’t care.”
“You don’t put any effort in the relationship.”
“You make me feel lonely.”
If I agree, then I have to work on myself, and stop being so selfish and return the love instead of constantly taking and taking.
If I disagree? Then that’s something I would have to work out with him.
But that brings me to this question; If I truly am a bad partner, Then why don’t you leave me? We’ve been together for a chunk of time. You are my first serious relationship, and also my first love. But I am not yours. Are we afraid to leave each other? Are we afraid theirs no one else out there better for us? Is their no one else out there who’s willing to put up with our bullshit?
In a normal situation, when you discover theirs an other woman, you confront them. In this case, I have to confront myself.