Could you and others, please provide your thoughts about this in a compassionate way? It would mean so much and would be very helpful.
What should I consider when a guy has many childhood friends and he is well bonded with all of them, treats everyone really good. He is charismatic to everyone around, friends, family, strangers, but while in a relationship, he abuses this woman, brings her past and gives her labels, but also cares about her a lot.
The woman is committed to him despite everything also because he has an incurable illness which could be fatal if he gets physically hurt. Basically his body doesn’t form blood clots, so she accompanies him on a fortnightly hospital visits to deal with it. The woman still binds her fate with him because he was seeking someone serious. He wasn’t abusive in his previous relationship, but with her, he is.
He begins giving mixed signals. Whenever she confronts him for judging her all the time, neglecting her, emotionally cheating on her with his female friend, he says she imagines things. When she shouts at him, he always shouts back and saying she creates scenes. When she gets molested, he blames her.
She has been told she is wrong so many times, that now for every judgement she relies on her or doesn’t speak up when she finds something deeply wrong.
He also justifies in front of everyone, he is not like this to anyone else, all his friends testify that he is correct. He is bad just to that woman so something is really wrong with that woman. She doesn’t know anymore what to think. He dumped her after being with her for 2 years, after she began having extreme psychosomatic pain throughout her body. He didn’t want to have to deal with an unhealthy woman. He dumped her but expressed to everyone and her that he loves her too much. At the same time he asked her not to talk about their things with his friends who were in touch with her.
A year after break up, they all gather in an event and he threatened in front of his friends once and said he would beat her face with his shoe. He and his friends had secretly gone through her phone a day before and they assumed she was screwing up with some other guy.
He said about beating her with his shoe with such intensity and in front of friends, she still feels deeply humiliated. He called her manipulative, liar. She couldn’t say a word, because she was shocked, and she was afraid of creating a scene.
It’s been 3 years since her break up, but things and blames still haunt her.