You Are Pregnant with God
a poem
O sweet child,
your dizziness at dawn
as you await
the arrival
of the Breeze (the Beloved’s Breath)
to sweep your heart clean.
the weariness of your mind
as it slowly dies
leaving room for Presence
letting you finally Be.
your erratic, yet unsatisfied
appetite for this and that
making you run around
like a lost child,
unknowingly,
looking for your Divine Mother,
for Home.
the contractions
of your heart
as it willingly walks into the Fire
having no qualms about the price it
has to pay to
be emptied,
fully cooked,
to be
a no-body…
… you are pregnant with God
when, ever since tender age
the excruciating pain
of “divine discontent”
guided your every step
making you howl for this Love
that no moon can ever fulfill…
… you are pregnant with God
as you watch with the naked eyes of
your broken-open heart
all your notions of
idealized love
burn into ashes
proven to have all been a lie,
a delusion.
when all your big designs
borrowed and
inherited from others,
from ‘else’ where,
crumble
and disintegrate
forcing you to surrender
with humility…
… you are pregnant with God
as your body trembles
from the thousand cuts
inflicted by all the
beauty and terror,
lightness and darkness,
closeness and loneliness
of this fierce
mystical path.
as you watch the old self
dissolve and
die
again and again
in front of your very eyes.
and as you find all this
far more intoxicating
and satisfying
than ordinary love…
… you are pregnant with God
as you laugh when others cry
and cry when others laugh
while your heart
beats to a different
inaudible and
invisible rhythm
making it intolerable
to reside in such small body,
such small world…
…you are pregnant with God
when you’re doing your best
to walk on this earth
to love and be loved
to not harm and not be harmed
with this longing and aching heart…
… you are pregnant with God
O sweet child,
your labor started
the moment you entered this womb
from that womb.
and your constant
longing
loneliness
burning
and dizziness
are all signs of this labor.
so, see it through
congratulations!
when are you due?
Pouria Montazeri is the founder and teacher of In the Footprints of Rumi, 8-week experiential courses exploring principles and practices for turning Rumi’s sacred poetry and teachings into portals for spiritual awakening and transformation.
