Thank you for responding. I appreciate your comment and sharing your experience. I think my issue here is that I’m not necessarily “ugly on purpose” — some people will find me ugly, no matter what I do, including putting on fancy clothes and make up. Some people will find me beautiful, too, and especially after writing this I got lots of emails, especially from men, denying me the right to call myself ugly. I guess what I hate is that as women, especially, our value is so tied to our looks that we have to have these sorts of conversations in the first place. Being too pretty can ensure you’ll never be taken seriously; being too plain can ensure the same. There’s no winning.