An Intergalactic Guide to Hurting Humans

When hurt, humans often embark on a long spiritual journey to find a (not so common) sense of purpose in life.

It is surprisingly easy to hurt humans. Apart from their astonishingly weak bodies which can easily be fractured in a thousand obvious ways and a million more non-obvious but creative ways, their prime weakness is their emotional delicacy.

Say a right word (or a sentence) to humans and you can corrupt their self-proclaimed most advanced brains on planet Earth. It is not a hypothesis but an observed fact. More than often, you won’t have to hurt a human yourself. They’d probably already be hurt; by themselves. Seriously, if you’re a human and you haven’t hurt another human yet, then you should start doubting your planetary origin.

It is not clear yet as to what leads humans to hurt others humans. Many studies suggest that it is a game humans play to relieve themselves of daily boredom. They often hurt other humans close to them and later (usually) reconcile with each other by either temporarily forgetting recent events or exchanging apologies. These claims, however, are met with skepticism as humans hurting other humans would not only be humanly immoral but it would also inhibit their progress. A fact for momentary fun: Humans, of all species in the universe, are most in need of progress — they haven’t even populated another planet yet!

Happy hurting humans.